An interesting incident I clearly recall from my working days is that of a distinguished but very elderly gentleman who’d come with his son for some loan documentation – as I tried to explain the banking implications, his eyes conveyed understanding but his lips hardly moved. It felt as if it was his way of communicating ‘Son, say your stuff but I’ll not waste my breath’. This, however, was in contrast to what most of us do – talk ten to the dozen and try to out-talk others to the extent that the point is missed.
Age and wisdom must have something to do with the amount we talk and appreciating that, sometimes, silence can do that better than any words. As the great Socrates had said ‘The more I learn, the less I realize I know !’ It is now well-known that the fine art of listening can be developed more through silence and observing the verbal and non-verbal communication cues.
Having said this, over a period of time one finds that silence has adopted a sort of protesting posture to express anger and become uncommunicative. Other than in fractured professional relationships and ego clashes that take place in the work-place on account of various factors, the more disturbing trend is that of people increasingly maintaining stony silence and becoming unresponsive even in their own homes to defy elders trying to assert themselves, hurt own ‘rival’ siblings or punish their partners for pain they may have caused.
Giving the ‘silent treatment’ and not taking calls or replying to messages is the new tool in the modern couple’s warfare and in the family disputes. When people stop talking to each other, the scope for resolving the conflict gets stalled but the best way of solving problems and misunderstandings has to be through dialogues. This silence which conveys anger also, aims to make the others feel guilty and puts more strain on the relationship and leads to emotional deadlock. Hence the communications channels must reopen and talking and taking it off the chest is still one of the best ways to mend fences.
However, let’s look at the lighter and brighter side of ‘silence’ – a smart subordinate is better off silent, than argue with an irate, unrelenting Boss ! Also, as one smart alec said ‘LISTEN’ and ‘SILENT’, both have the same alphabets and amazingly, both are meant for HUSBANDS !’ What say ?!
Working on Living 