It’s always said that we must be open to feedback, analysis and criticism in a positive way for they help us introspect, improve and grow. What about having the right attitude and grace while receiving praise – assuming that it’s genuine even if it’s in the form of grudging admiration, back handed compliments and from the least expected quarters ! Strangely, a large number of people do not know how to handle praise (not taking celebrities, the very rich and famous into account who are generally subjected to much adulation and get trolled too).
Expectedly, different people react differently – the gentle ones get overwhelmed, for their humility doesn’t allow them to have claim to high acclaim. The suspicious types have mind-set that says we cannot possibly deserve such feedback – anyone who pays us a compliment must be either lying, misguided, or feeling sorry for us and is suspect ! Others acknowledge with a cryptic ‘thank you’ not knowing who to react possibly because they are not used to paying compliments either. But the ‘unkindest cut’ comes when one doesn’t appreciate the complimentary gesture, if one considers others being in an lesser position of authority .
A compliment is, after all, a kind of gift, and turning down a gift insults the person giving it, suggesting that you don’t value them as highly as they value you. On the other hand, paying right compliments is an art. My Dad, who would always inspire everyone with encouraging words, had once said to me ‘ If you’ve to say something good to someone don’t hold back – be eloquent, generous and large-hearted. When you’re being critical be direct, honest, don’t overstate the issue and repeat yourself..’
There are also those who know how to share credit when received – I had once written an article for my Boss which appeared in the newspaper under his name and got him high praise. He directed these to me captioning ‘ You deserve’ ! One need not be arrogant to take a compliment well, just a reasonably well-balanced, self-assured person.
Unless one’s a professional critic or book-reviewer by choice ( or the favourite of the Boss in the office !) , why should one praise others ? Many people, with a high opinion of themselves, find nothing praiseworthy. When and if they do, vanity prevents them to indulge in what they consider flattery or patronage ! An old colloquial proverb simply puts it ‘Only a true goldsmith recognizes the really precious metal !’ My favourite quote remains – ‘To dance in the rain, you must first learn to praise HIM in the storm’
( picture source : soulopeners.org )
Working on Living 