This Tuesday was special to many a married Bengali as it happened to be “Jamai Shasti” or the old Bengali tradition of honouring the Jamai or son-in-law. This noble festival is classless as it is freely extended to all Jamai’s, the good, the new and even the retired ! Doting mothers-in-law bless their Jamai with gifts and more importantly, delectable Bengali fish and variety of Bhajas and sweets and what have you, for the gallant role they might have played (or are expected to play) in the growth and prosperity of the family. Wives i.e. the daughters also take part but are not over-excited with all the hoo-ha over the men, as if to say “Why spoil them further in these difficult times!”.
Why is this special celebration for sons-in-law in this day and age of gender equality, one may well ask. The traditional festival of Jamai-shasti originated ages ago as a part of a women’s socio-religious duty. The son-in-law is called ‘Jamai’ and ‘Shasti’ means sixth, thus the festival is observed on sixth day of Shukla Paksh in Jyestha month of traditional Hindu calendar. The popular social custom lays foundation of a strong family bonding. All the son-in-laws get a treat from their in-laws or ‘Shoshur bari’. While the day is celebrated since olden days by the Hindu families all over West Bengal it is equally popular in other parts with Bengali influence spreading far and wide.
As the festival plays vital role in bringing the son-in-law closer to the girl’s family, the traditional Jamai gradually becomes “Gharer Chele“ (local guy) and helps to make family ties sound, sorts out home matters, arranges marriage alliances for younger sisters/brothers and maintains diplomatic ties all around. However, the modern day “Jamai” appears to have got lost in the time-warp and is often found to distance himself from complicated family issues, agreeing to meet /visit in-laws and even relatives only on special occasions like marriage or sagaai within close family !
Being a “Jamai” has its share of burdens as the great Big B himself would agree. Being married to a Bengali (Jaya Bhaduri), he is embraced by effusive Kolkata as their Jamai and is so besieged by family and friends for gracing various occasions and inaugurating functions. Of course it helps that he spent his initial years as a professional in Kolkata before becoming an actor. Rest is certainly, Indian history !
Everything said and done “ Jamai Shasti “ is recognition of the tireless efforts of the good “Jamai” to maintain order and peace under all circumstances and for all those against this, I would only exhort “ It is better to be a Jamai and observe “Shasti“ than to be free with no Shashur Bari !”
Working on Living 