While there is justifiably talk of empowering ‘women’ and how it’s being brought about, one section of society are the unsung working & retired men trying to lend a helping hand at home. Their attempts at domestic chores don’t get encouragement due to lack of proficiency and inability to cover shortcomings while ‘batting on lively home pitches’. They are always reminded that Daddies & Uncles of yester-years quietly did all the ‘ghar ka kaam’ so neatly, without fuss and also attended their Office-work. Really, no sweat ?
After first few years of marital bliss, today’s domesticated working guys accept that to remain in good books of the Missus (apart from proffering gifts and dining-out once in a while!) is to show keen interest in the ‘home ministry’ issues rather than only focusing on ‘external affairs’ that husbands tend to specialize at ! While the work allocated to the ‘worse-half’ by the ‘better-one’ may differ with households, visits to nearby ‘Sabji & Fruit’ (and Fish for Bong families) Markets or Malls, at least twice a week, is high on the list. But that’s just not enough, ‘mol-tol’ and buying right stuff is real work ! For mid-aged pairs, managing children’s homework & extra-curricular activities gets big priority.
What drives these talented men with noblest intentions to make a mess at home – small things like spilling ketchup, leaving wet towels on the bed, the toilet unclean, the fridge raided for milk, kitchen sink stacked with sundry utensils in just making ‘chai’ & so on. Blame it on the fact that husbands are basically like ‘unskilled workers’ who have no real experience or haven’t been brought up to do ‘ghar ka kaam’ which includes a variety of jobs from grocery shopping, cutting veggies, doing basic cooking, to spring cleaning and operating the washing machine, drying and ironing apparels which ‘dhobis’ will not do ! If told to get five things, they will invariably forget two and bring the wrong brands !!
There are success stories too. I have some friends (generally now retired, senior citizen category) who’ve acquired skills over the years to become handy electricians, machine operators, house-keeping staff, baby-sitters and watchmen in turns, to assist in smooth running of the house since maids are employed only for specialized jobs like cooking and Missus may be working. Many are now skilled in ‘veggie’ shopping and/or become unsung ‘Chefs’ in their penchant for cooking exotic dishes inspired by Sanjeev Kapoor !
There’s a big shift in perceptions too. Unlike earlier ’patriarchial’ ages, in today’s times a ‘real man’ helps around the house, cleans, washes dishes, helps with the kids and cooks. But like others, once in a while he needs to be patted on the back, if he does a good job !
Working on Living 