The old world exclamation “O Brother !’’ might not have appeared as friendly banter but most use the term ‘ Bhai’ signifying friendship & camaraderie, like the sobriquets “Dada” (for Bong men irrespective of age !), “Mota Bhai” (respectfully for Gujus) or “Bhai-jaan” (used by Lucknowis & Hyderabadis). What then can be said of your own kith and kin, the asli “Bhai”, guy who’d tease, make funny faces, sing & crack stupid jokes…. festivals like ‘Rakhi’ gives one a chance to say “Luv u Bro ! “ and “God bless, Sis” and feel good !
Truly, our brothers and sisters are the first real relationships we have outside of our parents. In growing up years we share parents, home, pets, celebrations, catastrophes and family secrets ! Generally, the elder brother or sister is your first friend and the first person you learned to play with, share with, and laugh with. He/She was also the first person who picked on you, fought with you but helped finish homework and taught you many good things like history, sums and the art of living !
Traditionally, the eldest siblings are expected to play the role model of strong, caring characters and proverbial friend, philosopher and protector of their younger siblings. In the good old days, the responsibility and expectations of carrying on the family tradition was theirs too ! But how are they faring in their roles today ?
Since the break-up of the joint family concept, most siblings now quickly move on in life, forge and develop relationships and friendships that suit their beliefs and life styles. With latest technology on hand, the virtual contact with siblings may remain but distances and pressures of keeping pace with peers, often blur some of the old ties and reduce them into working relationships to be kept up as duties & social commitments !
Siblings as adults often find themselves at variance as they assess their own roles. Also we spend our whole lives putting parents on a pedestal, who were magical beings that raised us after all. But as we get older and go through our own struggle of life, we come to see our parents as human. We need to knock off being so hard on ourselves, we have to become okay with our own parents and we ourselves as parents, being human !
In the autumn years, there’s revival of a familial sense of belonging stitched together by old memories. Fortunately, our functions, customs & festivities come to our rescue as always. The bonding between brothers and sisters & the gen-next are strengthened with symbolic rituals and reunions , to say “We’re always there for you, like the old times” !
Working on Living 