If one were to borrow from William Blake’s famous quote, one might say ‘Flights may or may not take off but TV debates and the Cricket Series must go on..’ We avid followers of the game remain glued to our seats in packed stadia or in front of TV sets as India & Proteas are locked in riveting cricket contests. And for bigger aficionados, there’s also the ‘Ashes’ battle on between Aussies and the English..
For some, India’s fortunes in Cricket World attained greater significance than the scary AQIs, huge ‘Indigo’ turbulence in aviation sector and the dipping Re that’s now in the ‘nervous 90s’. The jargon dished out by experts on the Panel during on-going matches such as “Drop-in pitches”, “The Doosra“, “Upper Cut“, “Bat-speed“, “Reverse Sweep“, “Dil-scoop” create an aura of mystery & thrill to every match played.
Not surprisingly a large section of intelligent people cannot quite comprehend the basics of the game leave alone the nuances like “to bat first or not to bat is the question” looking to the flatness, turn, bounce off the pitch and depending on the dew factor late evening. One Lady Stand-Up Comedian suggested in her show, a smart Woman can get anything out of her Man if she switches off the ODI match telecast in the tense 50th Over !
Here are old gems from the not so cricketingly educated over the ages : Truly hilarious !
1. In school, the teacher asked John to spell “ Bowling “. Back came the answer “ B-o-e-l-i-n “. “ That “ said the teacher “ is the worst spell of bowling I’ve ever seen “ !
2. Jones had taken his wife to cricket match. She sat through the first innings although very bored. In the second innings, a batsman tonked the ball out of the ground with a huge swipe. The wife got up excitedly “ Thank God they got rid of it, we can go home ! “
3. Wife to George “Do you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match. You were BOLD. “ No I wasn’t “ , George muttered “I was caught ! “
4. Jim and his wife were awakened by the baby crying . Jim dragged himself out of bed to the baby’s cot and gently patted the baby with a cricket bat . “No bawl “.
5. The teacher asked the class to write an essay on cricket . With only few minutes left, one boy has written nothing. Suddenly looking at the clock he wrote a few words. “ No play today . Rain ! “
6. The bowler’s mother watched proudly from the stand. Next to her a spectator turned to his friend “He is good bowler, but his length varies“. “Nonsense“ said mother “He’s been five seven always!”
7. A mother asked her neighbour “Is it a sin if he is always playing cricket ? “ Offended neighbour’s reply “ It is not a sin . But it is crime, the way he plays cross batted ! “
8. An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on . By mistake he was connected to the Lord’s cricket ground. “ How’s it going “ he asked. “ Fine “ was the reply “We got 3 out and hope to get the rest out by lunch. The last one was a duck !”
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