I’d read that ‘Chemistry’ is the intermediate science between Physics and Biology but it made little difference as I wasn’t quite cut out for the Science Labs. Friends superior in their ‘scientific’ temper would derive joy from chemical elements that make up matter and compounds and score high marks. For me writing literary essays was much easier.
The English words and phrases we used were simple, for instance saying ‘they got along like a house on fire’ meant they liked each other’s company but never was ‘chemistry’ or any science involved in it. In the last few decades ‘Chemistry’ has made a comeback, not as a favorite subject of study but as a most sought after element in human relationships. The young student of Chemistry may ask : Is it ‘Organic’ or ‘Inorganic’, ‘Physical’ or ‘Bio-chemic’. We’ve never known but it’s a bit akin to ‘magnetism’ that we learnt in Physics.
Today if people have better understanding of each other, we also use phrases like ‘same wavelength’ or ‘being on the same page’. There’s a lot of thinking about what brings two people together in harmony. Chemistry, is neither science or art in human relationships, it just happens to provide that initial spark, excitement and deep emotional connection, making partners feel understood, attracted and safe, fostering easier communication, mutual growth, and a desire to be together. Isn’t that what we euphemistically explained ‘He Fell for Her Like a Ton of Bricks’ or ‘It Was Love at First Sight’ in our young days ?
For much married people, the concept of ‘Chemistry’ evolves from laws of physical ‘pull’ to the needs of compatibility (shared values/goals) for long-term success. It’s laughing through funny films, stories, memes, jokes & always disagreeing to agree on everything (At Home, the Lady is always right in the end !) and playful intimacy that makes people remain connected, supports through challenges and creates a feeling of being “in sync”.
If ‘Chemistry’ runs on a ‘have food-fun-fight’ script in average marital storylines, it has complex equations between generations with differing perspectives, liberated views on life-styles & spending and far more casual approach to relationships & responsibilities. For the New Gen, listening to elders as they dole out advice, is tiring & cumbersome & the old voices of experience are generally outdated unless they appear digitally updated !
People try various ways to preserve ‘chemistry’ including taking separate holidays and hanging out with friends apart from usual family trips. We hadn’t thought about how we were faring till some friends commented on the duet song that we sang ‘ The singing was good & the chemistry great’. ‘Devotion’ & ‘Empathy’ can at times sound like ‘Chemistry’ !
Working on Living 