In last few years, there’s seems to be discernible change in how even old friends interact when they reconnect. Emotionally buoyed by the alma mater’s fraternal bonds, in earlier times they’d meet with banter, colourful language, bawdy old jokes shared over drinks & even ‘roast’ someone without offending them. Animated conversations leading to any serious arguments based on ideological or political differences of individuals were rare.
Of late the informal group chats or the casual meets of old friends & relatives, often have someone inevitably trying to mediate when ‘charcha’ on sensitive and burning issues of national & international importance, lead to heated discussions. Increasingly, political one-upmanship is on the rise, ideological beliefs are more deeply intertwined with one’s core identity, patriotic feelings, moral values & left or right leanings that are acquired. A disagreement on what one feels, is a personal attack rather than a difference of opinion.
In one such event, old friends found themselves taking positions as even routine topics assumed political flavor. A casual remark on the nice winter climate in Mumbai by one was met with a rejoinder ‘Visit Delhi to enjoy our weather’ from disgruntled friends, in a grim reminder to Capital’s ‘AQI’ levels. A travel enthusiast was sharing details of his trek in the hills but soon it veered to the threat being posed to ‘Aravalli’ mountains through illegal mining ! Few expressed interest in recipes & art of locating good eateries & were halted by anxious friends. ‘How’s the water in your area ?’ taking from Indore tragedies.
On the divisive discourses are also spate of films with a socio-political slant. A friend not known overtly for his political views, was excited watching ‘Dhurandhar’ and expounded on the blockbuster’s merits. Others nodded animatedly but two guys shook their heads ‘A good action film, blurred facts with fiction to set propaganda’ ! A fiery debate ensued ! We always talk of Cricket & there’s concern for the Indian team’s future without Rohit & Virat & hope that in the coming T20 World Cup, they would be there for us. But with the recent IPL imbroglio, views differ : why mix politics with sports & blame poor SRK for getting a Bangladeshi player for KKR ? On the rebound, BD is refusing to play in India …
Many of us are taking stands against one another & straining established relationships. Loyalties are formed and fed on high emotions not through a dispassionate examination of facts or objective analysis & it’s easier to become defensive when those firm beliefs are questioned. SM, hyped media, written post can be easily misinterpreted and algorithms often promote emotional, divisive content, creating echo chambers and making people likely to see “other side” in a negative light. And old friendships can fall by the wayside !
Working on Living 