Among the ‘generic’ words while wishing or sending messages to relatives & friends is the fine adjective ‘Heartfelt’ that’s appended to the greetings, conveying thanks, offering sympathies or apologies (as in belated birthday wishes). In practice, most messages and the on-line greetings are more of a ritual to adhere to the social protocols. Use of catchy forwards borrowed from other sources and ‘cut & paste’ modes, make our task easier.
What’s so special about ‘heartfelt’ wishes and in today’s rapid-fire texts and speech is it discernible ? For one, it has a different feel, emphasizes genuineness showing something coming from the “heart” & not being superficial (& routine). It needn’t be elaborate, but have absence of hypocrisy, feigning or any falsifying embellishment or exaggeration. Beyond the language sincere acts of love & compassion come across as ‘heartfelt’. In our time, the outdated ‘Archie’ cards with words in own writing, added a personal touch !
Some of our talented kith & kin and close friends have a knack for making others feel ‘elated’ on milestone occasions by dedicating a self-made piece of art, painting, poem or writing. Spouses are full of surprises, that don’t always meet with the needed approval but buying one’s favorite item, arranging a snap party, an exotic dinner or sudden travel plan qualifies as a heartfelt gesture. For my milestone ‘70th’ birthday, my much better-half, tirelessly worked to not only efficiently organize a grand party at a lovely joint but with clandestine guile, contacted my closest friends and persuaded them to attend it !
An important aspect of ‘heartfelt’ action is thoughtfulness, creativity & being observant to what others like & conjuring a special gift tailored to his/her taste, liking or passion. One of the finest examples came from the legendary ‘Sunny Gavaskar’ in fulfilling the promise he’d earlier made to cricketer (and avid guitar player) Jemimah Rodrigues. He presented her with a guitar that was amazingly shaped like a cricket bat & he also sang !
Heartfelt are ‘upstanding’ words & support to others in times of distress, facing a crises or personal loss and that involves offering them unwavering presence, emotional backup and practical help that can make them feel less alone and overwhelmed. The real value of a relationship is often tested not in ‘happy’ times together but in moments of crises !
Finally, it’s spontaneity and sincere intent that matters. Recently a dear friend sent us a beautiful wall hanging for the New Year. Instead of a usual thank you note, I sang and video-taped a Hindi film song with appropriate lyrics & posted it to him. His reply was also in the ‘song’ mode, except that he’s not quite a singer by a long yard and was only appreciating the way we had thanked him ! They were tuneless words sung by him yet it stole our hearts in its glow of warm-hearted reciprocity.
Working on Living 