With realigned roles and domains in their domestic life, men of all ages are proving their mettle with the kettle, warmth with micro-wave, cleanliness with washing machine and crispiness with toasters, even if their culinary skills might remain in a nascent stage, while an exceptional few also make their presence felt in the kitchen ! Belonging to the ‘unskilled in cookery’ category, I’ve developed some expertise with preparing breakfast, majorly comprising of toast, butter, eggs and fruits and the occasional ‘Sunday Special’ ‘Jalebis’ outsourced from the nearby ‘Halwai’ !
The toast-making process is a bit intricate since both sides of the bread must be brown to a nicety. For my Mrs, over-made toasts aren’t at all acceptable. The pop-up toasters, like most people these days, are erratic and I end up with a few burnt toasts regularly. As the service provider, I tell myself – ‘bread’ must not go waste for it doesn’t come easily to everyone. The ‘burnt toast’ is also my metaphor to take responsibility for our actions, mend the systems and ensure that it works properly. Sunk costs (burnt toasts) must be absorbed by me and not others (in the family). A principle that’s laudable if practiced at all levels & most importantly in civic administration and for good governance.
However, apart from my own hypothesis there is also a fascinatingly well-known theory : ‘The Burnt Toast Theory’ that talks of a mindset where minor inconveniences, such as burning toast, spilling coffee, missing a journey or getting stuck in traffic are viewed as positive “redirections” or protections rather than bad luck, potentially saving us from larger, negative or dangerous events. It’s a bit like ‘superstition’ but uncanny when it saves people from potential setbacks or accidents. With a Bengali cultural background, we learnt many lessons from our elders at home – to be followed without much rational application of mind. So, if we came out of a fall with only minor bruises, it was felt as if a major accident had been averted. Our Moms and Grand-moms would pray in Bengali – ‘Jaag Baba, Phada Katlo !’ meaning ‘Thank God, saved from bad omen’ !
‘If Only We Had..’ are wise words that are mostly uttered by us after an unforeseen and unpleasant event that was destined to happen. There are also words like ‘resilience’ and ‘optimism’ that see us through the most difficult phases of life. ‘The Burnt Toast’ teaches us not to be deterred by small setbacks. Maybe something ‘Great’ is round the corner !
Working on Living 