Today at times, one feels like ‘Purane Zamane Ke Dressers’ observing the very bold, ill-fitting, multi-colored attires & often mismatched outfits that the millennial wears in total defiance of conventional dressing norms. We possibly have no idea of the modern styles that are in vogue.

Going many decades back to what gentlemen of the 1960-70s (meaning our Dad’s and Uncles) wore- were also fashionable in keeping with their idols (famous actors, sportsmen, celebrities). Sartorial elegance as in dark suits and tie, marked their attires be it Hollywood stars Cary Grant and Gregory Peck or our own Dadamoni & Dilip Kumar. Even in those days, Dev Anand charted his own style, bold checks, large collars, scarves, bottle green trousers and orange pullovers with bright caps were testimony to the gay, youthful image he created ! 

School discipline ensured that we wore crisp, clean uniforms and shoes were polished. We inherited a rich legacy that said ‘Clothes should make one appear cultured and presentable in society’. It wasn’t to fit into any fashion trends but to look good and feel confident in your ability to know what to wear. We were taught that one didn’t have to be affluent to dress decently. A cleverly maintained wardrobe meant taking good care of the clothes you had and saving because one wouldn’t buy clothes that one can’t reuse for other outfits.

Underlined were certain features like properly matching the shirt and tie/scarf with colour of blazer/jacket/suit and choosing muted colours that were suitable to one’s general appearance. Maybe that’s why Corporate Executives, CEOs and Senators are always seen in dark suits, white or light blue shirts and gray/blue ties ! In India, our leaders go for traditional kurtas & jackets !

Being a Bengali brought up in Lucknow, I loved how my Dad expertly tied the ‘dhoti’ Bengali style and wore it with a spotless white kurta when he attended family weddings and functions. Except when I got married, I haven’t tried wearing a dhoti but adore kurtas. Traditional Indian kurtas are made for the hot Indian climate and in their many avtaars look classy and regal. I’ve few friends who only wear the kurta-pyjama ensemble, when not at work ! As one said ‘Clothes and manners don’t make a man but when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance ! 

It’s a fast-track, health conscious world we live in, where things move rapid fire – in fact most of us (at least those who still can) are running for something. The last time I had participated in the Mumbai Marathon few years ago, the obvious tag line was ‘Run’ ! But few keen runners were  quoted saying ‘I’m running for my Son/Daughter/Friends/Greener Society/Good Roads etc etc.’ Few showed bravado & said ‘For it’s challenge’, none dared to be funny &  say ‘…from the wife’ ! Senior citizens were allowed another version of running – ‘brisk walking amidst lots of cheering’. 

In the Mumbai megacity and other metros, most people seem to be literally ‘running’ all the time to scamper from one metro/local train/bus/auto and reach their destinations in time. The management gurus have a theory for rookies that in their profession ‘they must hit the ground running’ to pace with grueling work demands and won’t be given time to settle down. For those who’re in jobs ‘you’ve to keep running to remain in the same place’ or lose out to brighter guys !

If this ‘running’ business make new-age heads swirl, spare a thought for the upwardly mobile, young working parents, running to keep up with the activities of their school-going children and their preferred extra curriculum chosen from sports, dancing, music, swimming, dramatics and so on, extra classes and/or coaching and home-tasks, done or be supervised by the parents. As &  when they’re teen-agers, it’s running around various elite institutes for their higher education ! Not to forget the constant ‘running’ of the house, with all its multi-tasking and managerial skills.  

Moving on, we seniors still nurse the romance of ‘running around the trees’ of the quintessential Bollywood films of the 1960s-80s, where the hero wooed the leading lady by crooning a breezy song against the ethereally beautiful ‘Kashmir’ backdrop. Anything beyond that was disapproved by the Censors. In reality, as students in 70s, we’d be found in classrooms or playfields but our more intrepid peers did a fair bit of ‘chasing’ & ‘dating’, much to our awe and respect for them !

Times have dramatically changed and nothing really surprises but recently there was a first in the realm of  ‘running’. In the past, grooms used to ride horses to their weddings, but now we’ve had Nupur Shikhare a fitness trainer & superstar Aamir Khan’s son-in-law who chose a unique approach. He jogged 8 kms from Santcruz to Bandra in Mumbai to marry the love of his life, Ira Khan. As celebrity clips & pictures have shown, the impetuous groom wore the jogger’s outfit, comprising of singlet & shorts while performing the marriage ceremony and then danced with gay abandon, but following the ceremony he donned an appropriate outfit to meet the paparazzi.

Even the worst run is better than no run at all. We keep running for Ourselves & for Dear Life !

(The pic below is from my participation in the Mumbai Marathon, 2020)

IMHO (In My Humble Opinion), a major cultural contribution to netizens’ community has come from OTT medium, significantly diverse in content with the real-time actors (not stars),  vastly improving the cinematic experience. We suddenly have for viewing a ‘problem of plenty’ (like the battery of talented players available to our Team India thanks to the IPL !). Most of our evenings are spent in surfing through the big maze of OTT content on offer, all paid platforms (Netflix et al). Yes, we’ve been buffs from 70s when films were only screened in cinema halls.   

There are often long deliberations between us about new films that are most talked about in our groups and deserve our immediate attention. For us, the serious & arty are for weekdays, frothy ones for weekends and gory thrillers are restricted to late night male viewing, if at all to be seen. Recently, I disagreed to agree watching ‘Archies’ on Netflix. I later found it was quite cute ! On a more serious note, we were bowled over by some brilliant performances over the last year. Happily we didn’t miss any acclaimed as ‘top-class’ as far as Hindi films on OTT went. Also we couldn’t wait for ‘Sam Bahadur’ to appear on TV & loved watching ‘Big Sam’ on the big screen ! We understand that it’s now to be aired on Zee 5, having had a inspired run in the theatres.

We listed out ten best male lead performers on OTT (Hindi) we saw last year, that include both films & web-series, but with no disrespect to the incredible show put up by versatile actresses in women-centric films but that needs separate discussion for the variety of roles enacted by them.

1. Vikrant Massey in ‘12^th Fail’              2. Manoj Bajpai in ’Sirf Ek Banda Kafi Hai’  

3.   Jaideep Ahlawat in ‘Jaane Jaan’        4. Kay Kay Menon in ‘The Railwaymen’

5.   Abhishek Bachan in ‘Ghoomer’        6. Sanjay Mishra in ‘Vadh’

7.   Vishal Vashishtha in ‘Ghar Wapsi’   8. Jitendra Kumar in ‘Panchayat 2’

9.   Raghubir Yadav in ‘Panchayat 2’     10. Savinderpal Vicky in ‘Kohrra’

There are many other powerful roles that should make the cut but these appealed to our taste and genres we follow : satirical comedies, family dramas, social themes, adventures & thrillers. Friends may pick up some of the ones they missed so far. Happy viewing in the New Year !

Like every other time, stepping into the New Year is an intense exercise for Netizens (meaning we social media users !) in handling the hordes of virtual cards, messages and greetings that inundate the WA chats and the civil thing to do is promptly shoot off your own creations to all those well-wishers. The messaging traffic, however, in this surge is almost as strong as the one on the Express Highway to Lonavala on a weekend but more specifically, this New Year’s Eve !

‘Bon-homie’ spirit is so overwhelming that some send different posts or repeat earlier ones to the same person/s, some greet to remind ‘Remember me, I’m still alive’and some even post as a formality or in demi-official jargon, all to maintain ‘cordial’ connectivity. They come in droves – shiny, resplendent and adorned with bright stars, pics, emojis and carry pithy messages to mark the starting of fresh beginnings, renewed hope, looking ahead to the future. There’s a bit of repetition but there are also funny ones – ‘Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we Diet ! ’ or ‘Live, laugh & enjoy my photo, it’s all free’ & those profound in thought ‘You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough’ and ‘In a world where you can be anything, be kind ! ’          

What’s so special that we go on this binge of wishing each other well ? New Year celebration is important for people for several reasons. It marks the beginning of a new year and provides an opportunity for reflection, setting new goals, and making resolutions. It also brings people together to celebrate, create new memories and look forward to the future. The celebratory  idea itself unites people in acknowledging the continuous journey through time. It’s like the chapter in a book that’s done with and we move on to next. Yet we go back to the earlier chapters also. 

Like all our dear friends and kith & kin, we received our share of ‘goodwill’ wishes that pray for a better tomorrow for us. Yet at our age, we must have something special to say (no advice !) to our gen-next and the millennial. ‘We wish that you do well in what you love and enjoy doing  because money and fame will follow, but first let’s all try to become fine human-beings !’        

It’s always great to end the year on a high (not by number of pegs of Scotch) but in feeling highly moved by something as compelling as the Vidhu Vinod Chopra film ‘12^th Fail’ now on Netflix !

It tells an incredible story of an extremely humble and financially deprived youth from Chambal, MP, who’s rural based and is what’s called an HMT (Hindi Medium Type) with aspirations of cracking the highly competitive UPSC Exams but without the wherewithal (funds, coaching & facilities) to compete where millions of youth try to become IAS or IPS Officers every year. The low-budget film has touched a chord with the masses and has been declared a sleeper hit !

It’s not just about competing and learning to cope with repeated failures at the various levels of the Competition but continuing to persevere with insane passion against all odds, learning from the past mistakes and telling oneself to ‘Restart’ as Manoj Sharma, the young protagonist does without compromising on his ideals of integrity at all costs. The film is inspired from the book on the inspirational life of the real Manoj Sharma, IPS and in some ways reminds one of Will Smith’s beautiful, poignant movie “The Pursuit of Happiness’ (2006) ! Vikrant Massey playing the lead is outstanding & is well supported by the excellent Medha Shankar & others in the cast. 

Not all stories of despair & struggles against failures are told since it’s success and results that matter to most people at the end of the day. While cracking the UPSC is the coveted goal-post, other competitive exams (like NEET etc) are herculean challenges as lakhs vye for the seats for professional courses. Only the top brains can enter the portals of IITs, IIMs and elite institutes. And being qualified is also not always a guarantee for the kind of work that one has aspired for !

Some of those who’ve got jobs, often find the process of internal promotions & growth in some of the public sector organizations and even those in the private sector slow, painstaking and partisan. Many then decide to quit & try elsewhere while some put in hard yards and long hours and battle on. They appear in interviews year after year like the indomitable Manoj Sharma but don’t make the cut or can’t find themselves in promotion lists. Job attritions are the end result.

It’s so heartening that such a film talks of those who repeatedly fail but don’t give up, portraying them as fighters and not as losers. They are real role models for the struggling youth of today ! 

It’s hard to ignore him for he’s Bollywood’s mainstream, big-budget film-maker who’s movies (mostly with favorites like SRK), glitzy, emotional, with larger than life ‘shaadi’ sequences and a quintessentially Punjabi flavor, that are super hits & misses (like KKKG or ‘Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham’), he’s one who plays Santa to wannabe star-kids giving them breaks & hosts a famous Chat-Show called ‘Koffee with Karan’ !

His latest guests on K-w-K were a departure from the usual twosomes (star couples, hit screen pairs, siblings etc) and featured the charming Sharmila-ji and her star son, Saif Ali Khan and turned out to be delightful replete with spilling out of childhood pranks and mother-son banter ! Without becoming a spoiler for those who may see the episode I begin to wonder what’d happen if Karan invited my late Mom and me for a Tete-a-Tete over Chai (since we’re ordinary folks) !

It was commonly known that having been a teacher for many years, Mom was a keen talker. But with her hearing impaired, her listening skills took a back-seat as my late Dad would heartily agree. I’m sure that Mom would dominate the show and answer all the questions, including the rapid fire rounds. It’s not that she felt I couldn’t talk but had so many stories to tell that even K Jo would’ve run out of time and handed her the prize hamper !

My favourite one is from the time I was too small to argue my case and Mom extolled my virtues to the Principal who had refused to admit me to his College. She told the shocked Principal that he had to recognize talent from an very early age and her son would soon top the class ! Truth emerged triumphant, I got admitted and came first in class but to me Mom was the clear winner.

The second one was her favourite though I doubt it’s true. We were five siblings (four sisters and ekla bhai) and during the Durga Pujas, a local ‘Darji’ would be asked to come home and lots of clothes would be stitched for my sisters, considering there were four. Once I’d asked Mom ‘why nothing much was happening for me’ and she said ‘After they get married, everything is for you’ to which I had retorted ‘The way things look, I don’t think anything will be left for me’ !!

The third story (again embarrassing me), was when I was grown up and had two sons, who were very attached to their Grandpa specially. In 1998, when we celebrated our parents 50^th Wedding Anniversary on our terrace in our Lucknow home, both the sons sang Dadu’s favourite ‘Saigal’ songs, and on demand I sang also. One friend came up to Mom and said brightly ‘Aunty, your grandsons sing so well’ ! Mom haughtily said ‘Yes, but they don’t sing as well as my Son does’ ! As the old saying goes ‘Mother Knows Best’ and we may add to that ‘She Says it the Best’ !

31^st Dec, it’s the New Year’s Eve, Quickly the year is about to end,

Just other day, a journey began, Now that road is about to bend,

Old still searching for happiness, Mid-aged still trying to succeed,

Tempestuous youth still restless, Savvy Kids still avoiding to read,

Will the New Year be much better, Can all our dreams now come true,

Will money, fame start to follow us, Move on from being with just a few,

Let’s revisit some of the real values, In old texts & letters we had found,

A world where you can be anything, Be humble, compassionate & kind,

The best things in life are still free, Smiles, laughter, just being simple, 

No matter what happens now in life, Let’s stay happy & be good to people!

Have a Wonderful New Year !

31^st December, 2023

It’s that time when things are brightly and beautifully decorated and the Yuletide spirit brings good cheer and bon-homie & lights us up into wishing ‘Merry Christmas’ across time zones and continents wherever our loved ones, friends and well wishers are placed. Since our early days we’ve associated Christmas (colloquially called Bada-Din) with two symbols of love and gifts, Santa Claus & Christmas Cakes, which we all look forward to !

As it always happens with me, there’s a big flashback of childhood memories where we siblings lovingly recall someone who was akin to Santa & would treat the family a virtual ‘Fest’ of cakes during every Xmas for more than two decades. Singh Uncle was Dad’s old buddy from his early days and it was a ritual followed that our entire family (my parents & we 5 siblings) visited his home on Christmas Day every year in Mahanagar, Lucknow.

Highlight of this trip for us was the unlimited amount of plum cakes (and other goodies) Singh Uncle would urge us to gorge on. Our Mom’d give us the ‘stern eye’ with a bid to intervene after we’d had 2-3 pieces of cake (to her it wasn’t proper if 5 children hogged like this) but the kind hosts would smile. Uncle would say ‘Inhi logon ke liye to banwaya hain, let them eat’! Having had variety of cakes since then, I never found the same taste.                

We may wonder, what’s the difference between a normal fruit cake & a Christmas cake ? Well traditionally Christmas cakes are like a labour of love, there is a feeding process with the Christmas cake which gives it a richer flavour. The longer you feed the cake, the better it is supposed to be. A lot of people who make their own Christmas cakes start the process around 6 months before the big day. Singh Uncle would order special Christmas cakes from local maker/bakery months in advance and preserve them in big, dry trunks. 

Singh Uncle passed away more than two decades ago as did our Dad and later Mom. We nostalgically reminisce these people specially on Xmas day, not just for the wonderful cakes but for the kindness and benevolence that they spread in the true Yuletide spirit ! At a time when Happy Xmas tidings are now more confined to social media messaging, Singh Uncle and his ilk remain symbols of the real Santa like experiences we truly had !

Having reached 69 (not out)  on 18th Dec. I always think of the 22nd as not just the third Friday of December but as one of my oldest friends, late Rajiv Pawha’s birthday. In all the years that we’d been friends, we never forgot to wish each other on our birthdays.

I first met Rajiv back in 1959 (both little boys then) when I was admitted to La Martiniere Girls in Lucknow in Class I, since in those good old days, boys were allowed to study up to Class IV in the school. Three of my elder sisters were already doing well there and though tough, the Lady Principal couldn’t refuse my Mom, who could be very persuasive, if needed !  

Our camaraderie and bonds as classmates progressed to being close family friends and history would repeat itself many years later when both our sons became class buddies in La Mart Boys.

Personally I have many memories that span over six decades from the 60s, of attending each other’s birthday parties, exchanging gifts (including the book ‘Treasure Island’ ) and learning new skills (like driving) in which Rajiv was always the frontrunner. To me, he was akin to a hero not only in his good looks but in his maturity, wisdom & all round talents. 

Knocking on the doors of the 70s, I and my ilk now like to dwell and talk about our old friends and of that era of lasting friendships and enduring relationships that were unconditional and heartfelt. Quite a few of them have left early but there were some like Rajiv who brought much joy and succour to their friends, and even after they have gone the light of that remains with them as fond memories of the city of Lucknow and the luminaries and characters that made it charming. Cheer’s to ‘Bubble’ and to the health and well being his loving family and friends !

The wise ones say that everything in life happens with a purpose and at the appointed hour and space, but we rarely understand the significance of that timing and call it being fortuitous or plain luck. Being at the right place at the right time is really ‘Grace’ that we sometimes receive in life. Some unknown forces were indeed guiding our (my wife’s and my)paths, thousand miles across country’s Western Megapolis, Mumbai towards an unforgettable experiential journey starting in Lucknow, the Capital City Of UP state in the Northern part of India.

It just happened. We were perfectly placed (at our dear friend’s home) to undergo a truly cathartic experience in the short but memorable ‘Happiness Programme’that beautifully sets the platform for the ‘Advanced’ course of the amazing and acclaimed ‘Art of Living’programme propounded by therenowned spiritual guru of our country, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, that are held in many parts of our country by a vastly dedicated and efficient organisation.

There is no way to describe this course except to experience it as it unfolds with life lessons that touch the core of the heart and elevate the mind and the body to a different level. Inevitable arethe vicissitudes of life for every mortal being, we are better prepared to deal with adversity when it dawns that the highs and lows are two sides of the same coin. What we imbibe through regular ‘Pranayam’and ‘Sudarshan Kriya’ (breathing exercises, repose, meditation) leads to inner calm, peace and happiness.We are indebted to brilliant, effervescent, versatile Trainer, Mrs.Neeta Dhupar (who has been a long time friend to us with Mr.Ashok Dhupar, Sir) for the opportunity to participate in this wonderful programme.

We all try to find tranquillity from the frenetic action and bustling activity of everyday existence even if it is temporary period, for there’s no escape from the daily grind of professions, jobsand business and setbacks, uncertainties, instability and risks in life.The course not only provided us a ‘Calm before the storm’ we facedbut a path to be ‘Calm’(Balanced) against any storm !

From Somnath Sinha with Tandra Sinha

Dated :13.08.23