It’s obvious that whatever we do emanates from what’s inside the head, but in sports there’s a lot of talk about keeping ‘head position’ steady. After his batting master-class in the on-going Champions Trophy that’s brought misery to the Pak bowlers with another rousing century, King Kohli’s stance while facing the ball, is a hot topic of discussion. Experts feel that the super timing comes from his head being still. This makes him see & prepare for the balls landing than if the head’s bent down. Ace sprinters and swimmers invariably adopt the forward position to achieve a head-start in close contests !

From a different domain, communication gurus lay stress on proper ‘Eye Contact’ and on looking straight and a speaker who’s peering downwards rather than at the audience will hardly be effective. When leaders of opposing parties indulge in ‘eyeball to eyeball’ confrontation, they express angst & antagonism rather than inspire confidence, but then their agendas are different ! In building relationships, women are said to prefer dealing with men who look directly in the eye and not those with shifty glances and furtive ways. 

Parents and teachers try to imbibe values of culture & old traditions in children so they acquire dignity & grace to hold their heads high (with pride) and not have ever to hang them (in shame). Tagore’s stirring lines ‘Where the Mind is Without Fear and Head is Held High’ rang in our ears from school days. But despite exhortations, ‘rote’ system of education compels students to dive into books & laptops and put their head down to the business of getting requisite marks for qualifying in the tough competitive exams that will later ensure jobs. Can’t manage that – don’t go around strutting with nose in the air.   

Yet reading the success stories who those who made it count, tell us that many struggled at first but never ‘lost their heads’ facing adversities. The coolest minds solve problems  eventually with their focus. Leaders are known to take best decisions when the chips are down and the dice is loaded against them. Risk taking is not for the weak-minded and it’s ones who take calculated risks & not afraid of setbacks who become change masters !  

Taking bold decisions in life is like flipping a coin, because these are the two distinct sides to a coin, representing the choice someone makes before it’s tossed. There’s no real evidence to back it, but most people seem to call ‘Heads’ quite spontaneously and then of course some call ‘Tails’ too. History reveals that this practice originated from ancient Rome where coins often had a head on one side and a ship (“navia”) on the other. Given ingrained life lessons to always ‘Use Your Head’,  it’s the real calls we make that matter !

(French Film with English Sub-titles)

Starring : Michèle Laroque and Julien Frison

Watch on : Netflix

Looking for a breezy comedy that warms the heart and lifts the mood, then don’t miss this utterly delightful French film which is very easily followed because of the wonderful actors and English sub-titles that don’t disappear in a hurry before you’ve even finished the first line. The name ‘Honeymoon Crasher’suggests a rom-com that many OTT films serve with varying degrees of success since comedy is best when based on unusual life situations, not unnecessarily loaded with explicit scenes, ribald gags & sick innuendoes !

In the first few scenes of the film the story unfolds – when his fiancee dumps him at the altar for her ex, a diffident, reticent young man is shattered and left with no alternative but to go on his romantic honeymoon with his mother, as she feels that’s best for him. This initially came as a bit of a culture shock to the puritanical audience like us Seniors (with ‘propah’ upbringing!) but then we decided to enjoy the party wherein all the action & fun takes place in an incredible beach retreat in pristine and breathtaking Mauritius !

If the film’s theme is mildly reminiscent of a sparkling Hindi movie, it has to be ‘Queen’ (2013) that fetched versatile actress Kangana Ranaut, the National Award, which today seems pretty far off. Did the French Director of this film Nicholas Cuche borrow his idea from this film is not known as yet. But he does come up with two actors who nailed it with such perfection that one get’s bowled over with their emotional roller coaster ride & in the very poignant mother-son relationship that’s discovering itself after all the years, despite the hilarious interludes of  pretending to be newly-weds like others in the resort.

It’s quite possible that even at any age you can fall for ‘Michèle Laroque’who plays the stunning looking middle-aged Mother of Julius and who has the ability to charm people off their feet but is facing fatigue in a marriage that’s lost its sheen with passage of time.  She however resolves to upgrade her Son’s slightly unattractive persona to a suave youth and after initial personality clashes, they come close together and enrich their lives. A feel good film, has many laughs & goofy times, it’s love & goodness that shines through !  

Always in the news for his aristocratic aura and articulateness and as Bengal’s favourite ‘Dada’ and superstar of ’Dadagiri’ quiz show, Saurav Ganguly recently gave his large fan base a huge scare by surviving a close call (major car accident) as he might have done in his heydays by edging one over the slips as India’s elegant left handed opening batter and as one of India’s most celebrated & successful Cricket Captains !

Despite being ousted from being Head of  BCCI a couple of years back (reportedly due to the forces within and outside ), Dada remains a key figure in Cricket world for his expert views, IPL Coaching stints and as a Member of ICC”s Technical Experts Committee. It’s ironic that with people like him, Sunny , Kapil & Dravid (& other legends of the game), a non-sporting heavy weight heads ICC, Cricket’s biggest body but that’s another story !

While most of the biggies of  Indian cricket (Sachin, Dhoni, Kapil, Azhar, Mitali Raj etc)  have had biopics on their lives and illustrious careers, two films that are being eagerly awaited but are yet to see the light of the day are the biopics on the legendary Kishore Kumar and on ‘Dada’ Sourav Ganguly which have been in the offing for several years. While there seems to be little progress on the Kishoreda biopic for various reasons and particularly choice of the actor for the leading role, there’s some good news on the other.

Ganguly has recently revealed that the versatile actor, Rajkummar Rao will be playing his character in his biopic sports film but which may take a year to roll out finally.  That said, fans will speculate whether Rao, despite his strong acting credentials will be able to do justice to tumultuous highs and lows of Dada’s phenomenal cricket career which has had its share of detractors and controversies but a legion of followers and cricket lovers ! There’s great charisma and a stately bearing that’s been associated with Dada’s persona.

In my humble opinion, despite his flashy image, Ranveer Singh could pull off a superb role as the young Kapil who led India’s to the historic 1983 victory. Rao is an excellent actor who did a convincing job as the cricket-coach to Janhvi Kapoor in the 2024 Film ’Mr. and Mrs Mahi’.

It’s the script that has bring out all the nuances of an engrossing story- glorious debut, artist lefthander’s cover drives and batting greatness, constructing a new breed of young aggressive players, his astute captaincy & struggles with a Coach & Authorities. Sehwag, Yuvi, Bhajji, Zaheer & other stars of earlier era, all pay tributes to a comeback-man and a leader who backed his team & transformed players into legends !

Starring : Sidney Poitier ,Lilia Skala & Others

Watch on : Prime Video

Lovers of old English classics from the 1960s-70s would be familiar with the name of the famous black actor, Sidney Poitier and the pioneering roles he played that depicted the fight against racial prejudices in America and films that garnered great critical acclaim. With superb films like ‘To Sir With Love’ (1967), ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner’(1967)  and ‘In the Heat of the Night’ (1967) he became one of the most sought after stars for his intense performances and powerful screen presence that captivated audiences all over !

However, having seen all the above said movies as a young student, thanks to our Dad being real cinema buff, there was one film (possibly his first) which I had heard about but didn’t get to then watch. Remarkable in the sense that this film ‘Lilies of the Field’ fetched Poitier the Oscar award for Best Actor and made him the first Black actor to win the coveted award in a leading role. Some good things are destined to come late in life. Suddenly now, to our utter delight we come across this beautiful film on Prime Video ! 

The first charming feature is that it’s a vintage Black & White film made in the early 60s. It is the story of a group of Catholic nuns who escape from the Communist held portion of Berlin and come to the United States. They do not know the language and led by the enterprising ‘Mother Maria’ they struggle with daily chores and running their set-up of small farming. In a turn of events that was to become epoch making for them, a young, tall and strapping handyman called Smith (played by Poitier) stops by and upon their request renders help to the German nuns on the farm with some repairs .

This starts off a most unusual association of the black man (who wants to be a successful contractor) with the cheerful Nuns in a way he’d never planned. This includes teaching them English and carting them in his car to attend Weekend Mass to a faraway place. Mother Maria is experienced and resourceful and has visions of building a nice Chapel in that place. Impressed by Smith’s skill & sincerity she assumes that God has sent him to help them build a Chapel & then the words ‘Missionary Zeal’ get it’s real significance !

The film is funny, heartwarming and inspiring and there’s something pristine about the characters in their simplicity and devotion to their faith. Poitier as Smith who becomes the architect and contractor in a divine and noble cause is memorable and versatile, for not only does he humour the Nuns but also sings and dances with them, that is mildly reminiscent of the Sisters in another all time classic ‘Sound of Music’. Lilia Skala plays ‘Mother Maria’ with great conviction who never relents on quest to get her Chapel made. 

It thrilled us that we were finally able to see Poiter’s Oscar award winning performance in a classic !

‘Old’ folks have such a hard time suffering some common maladies – becoming forgetful, hearing impaired, eyesight dimming, sleeping disorders, chronic pains, BP and a general slowing down. Add to this society does not quite appreciate length of the rich experience of the retired. No matter how well you explain, Gen Zee will not consider your ideas the most inventive way of thinking. ‘People are not very kind to us’ is the general refrain of ‘senior log’. Agatha Christie’s lovable sleuth, Miss Marple, who’s elderly but very sharp, says ‘They Think we are stupid, but we Know that they are..’ !     

Against this discontentment, some of us look at silver linings and find kindness in the younger lot in our daily lives as we try to keep pace with them. Some of us blessed with better health than contemporaries, find it irritating if we’re offered help in doing routine tasks as we wish to enjoy our freedom. My wife and I often use the Metro where possible and have found people getting up to offer us their seats. Helpful folks don’t mind us jumping queues if it’s long and auto-wallahs are relatively less rude to us. In my Bank, where I’d worked for decades, staff mostly is more courteous when I introduce myself as a Retiree. I try not to push the envelope, but Managers do listen to our special requests. 

Outside of the Office set-up, what’s endearing is we are ‘Uncles’ (& Aunties) to almost the entire world in deference to our senior citizen’s status. This is quintessentially a ‘Mumbaikar’s’ form of address in keeping with the megacity’s cosmopolitan nature. In our younger days a friend’s parents were universally ‘Uncle-Aunty’ but now the roles have changed for us. Relationship building is vital in name-calling in Mumbai culture & the omni-present traffic cops are affably referred to as ‘Mama’ and lock-ups ‘Sasural’ ! However, in North India, generic ‘Uncle’ is more specific and if one looks elderly enough, he could be reverentially called ‘Chacha’ and a senior person would be ‘Bade bhai’. Moving on to the Punjabi-Haryanvi lingo, the elders get addressed as ‘Paji’ !

Some of us Seniors tend to withdraw into a shell, not wanting to share their loneliness or burden others with their difficulties. Yet many find their calling after hanging up their boots & take up creative and social activities which helps them to revive cognitive skills, maintain good health and remain youthful. It’s in this realm of a great ‘second innings’ they surprise the world with their innate talents blooming late like blog writing, poetry, music, singing, cooking, painting, adventure travel, sports coaching, marathons & so on. Many turn home-assets, surprising spouses with baby-sitting & house-keeping prowess.

I understood what ‘You Only Live Twice’ meant after I turned Sixty and retired from full time service, for as David Bowie aptly said ‘Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been’ ! Turn to ‘Personal Discovery’ Channel and try doing the things you always wanted to.

Created by : Rakesh Roshan & Shashi Ranjan for ‘Netflix’

OTT platforms are now exploring the space of docu-series showcasing lives & work of some of Bollywood’s legendary actors, writers, singers from yester-years that today’s generation wouldn’t even have heard of. The latest in docu-series titled ‘The Roshans’ seemed promising. With four parts to it, two devoted to the famed music composers and two to the director & actors that form the ‘Roshan’ legacy. We discovered it was a warm and wholesome treat for music buffs like us & die hard fans of Hrithik Roshan !

Part 1 is sheer delight for ‘music lovers’ & delves into composer Roshan’s life & times, a simple man with quintessential big dreams, his initial struggles to get a foothold in Mumbai‘s tough music industry and his extraordinary creative journey from the ‘50s till ‘70s what was later called the ‘golden era’. There’s a fine blending of story-telling (by sons, Rakesh & Rajesh and grandson Hrithik), with nostalgic reminiscences of veterans from the bygone era, coupled with intimate interviews from those contemporary music composers, stars and film directors closely associated with ‘Roshan’ family and clips of Roshan’s super compositions. Interestingly, his wife Ira, was a singer & song-writer too.

The big repertoire of musical genius that Roshan displayed in his long career stands out despite great stalwarts like Dada Burman, Salil Chowdhary, Naushad, C Ramchandra, Madan Mohan and others, all splendidly competing. Snippets reveal the kind of  lively banter and camaraderie that existed between them, one composer would applaud good work of another or feign jealousy with humour. Roshan was advised by Burman never to change his style that was based on soulful melodies, He once confessed that ‘Rahe Na Rahe Hum..’(Mamta) tune was lifted from Dada’s old classic ‘Thandi Hawaein.’ ! Rajesh (Roshan) shares that when Roshan passed away, Madan Mohan broke down in tears.

That brings us to the huge bouquet of incredibly beautiful compositions from Roshan that deserve mention. Starting from the hit ‘Khayalon Mein..’ (‘Bawre Nain’ in 1950), his range was truly amazing from classical gem ‘ Laga Chunri Mein..’ (Dil Hi Toh Hai) and qawali ‘Na Toh Karwan Ki..’ (Barsaat Ki Raat)) to the lyrically romantic ‘Ab Kya Misal Doon..’(Aarti) & ‘Jo Vada Kiya..’ (Taj Mahal) to the poignant ‘Rahte the Kabhi..’(Mamta) & ‘Dil Joh Na Keh Saka..’(Bheegi Raat), the list goes on.. My favourite is all time great philosophical number ‘Man Re Tu Kahe Na..’(Chitralekha), rated as one of the finest songs. Sadly Roshan was not given his due recognition that he richly deserved. Yet fans remain indebted for the treasures he left. ‘The Roshan’ legacy has reached the drawing rooms of people through this series. Let’s savour it’s entire heartwarming experience !

It’s said ‘Nothing fails like failure’. Being on the losing side makes the ‘losers’ get a lot of ridicule as a failure, flop or even ‘bad loser’. That uncomplimentary term ‘Loser’ also implies unable to accept your defeat gracefully. The defeated are already smarting from the loss and if derogatory words are hurled at them, it adds insult to injury ! The moot point is that in a game or contest, there must be a loser for there to be winner.

‘Winners’ are always lauded- it’s interesting what some overwhelmingly say when they are declared victorious. In a fiercely competitive world and in a shiny kaleidoscope of victories, awards, accolades, promotions and the glory that comes with it, some winners use rather grandiose expressions in often idolizing their records, feats & endeavors with an aura of invincibility. Remember Ali’s line ‘I’m the Best’ & ‘Ugly Aussies’ in Cricket !  

However, true champions and real winners wear their crown (or title) with dignity and grace. They are confident of their abilities but realize a win doesn’t make one superior. Close finishes are par for the course in world of sports where say, in a Grand Slam 5-Setter, the player who finally lost 4-6 in fifth set was just as great as the winner ! In the infamous 2019 World Cup Final that was tied, England beat Kiwis on just a technicality.

A ‘Gracious’ Winner adds that human dimension of the achievement in being humble and compassionate after he wins a game, competition or fight in the ring. It’s also about acknowledging the opponent’s great efforts and not down playing them, sharing the accolades with all the team members and being open to learning from the experience. It must instill confidence of fairness in others in society & give the losers or opponents, a choice about the next fight or contest. In sports, it’s mandatory for all players to shake hands or embrace after the event, but that sadly doesn’t happen in the other contests !

Post match victory speeches by champions like Federer or Djokovic have exhibited true sportsmanship and invariably paid tributes to their younger opponents for the fight they put up. In his retirement address at the Wankhede, Sachin Tendulkar said ‘…I’ve met so many people who’ve fasted for me, prayed for me, done so much for me. Without that life wouldn’t have been like this..’ The Oscar Winner of 2014, Matthew McConaughey in his moving acceptance added the words ‘Thank you to six thousand Academy members and to all the other nominees, all performances were impeccable.’

Everyone tends to overlook losers for it’s ‘Success Mantra’ that all are looking for. In my working days, HR guys never called unsuccessful candidates for a pep-talk. One of my friends asked ‘Why didn’t I make it, please enlighten?’. Reply was ‘Don’t worry, just keep working hard’ ! Success stories of those who have overcame failures, continue to inspire us. As Catherine Plano says ‘The comeback is always stronger than the setback’ !  

Recently I was to meet a friend for some work. He felt we meet after working hours at his office, so we could talk at ease. When I reached, he wasn’t at his desk and the staff outside the training room informed me wisely “Meeting chalu hai, lagta hai 8 baje tak chalegi, Boss sabki ‘class’ le rahe hai. Aap friend ko whatsapp karo !” Having worked for decades in a Bank, I knew what ‘Class Lena’ meant if Boss wasn’t in a happy mood. In reply to the message my friend asked me to wait or come back after about one hour.

The wait seemed endless to me, counting minutes, then hours. The meeting went on for excruciating 125 Mts, the length of an OTT film, which if chosen well, could’ve engaged & spurred staff to action for the results that the Boss was so laboriously harping upon. The indispensable ‘meeting’ culture is still alive in our offices despite the all round debate raging on about work-life balance, extended working hours & employee fatigue affecting productivity. Late sittings and working 12-14 hours is still signifying diligence.

Winding the clock back to the 1980s and our early work-years, for us it was all ‘baptism by fire’ working through the week. In those days, Saturday half-day was converted into a full day for backlog clearance and Sunday reserved for full day meetings with Higher Authorities. Relentless one-way tirades on management’s unfulfilled expectations from operating teams, further dented officer morale. After great persuasion by Associations, Sunday meets stopped. With holidays on each 2^nd & 4^th Saturday, banker’s were happy. Then ‘Covid’ came – a ‘WFH’ culture & all day on-line meetings have since taken over !

Official meetings generally revolve around focused discussions & the steps to be taken on issues for determining the way forward & presided by Seniors to groups of officials. The word is being loosely used by almost everyone. Often when you call the answer is ‘Will call later, am in a meeting’ even if people are engaged in a chat in the canteen or fixing errands or getting the car repaired but wouldn’t like to be disturbed. ‘Customer Care’ is uncaring when you call – the reply you’ll get ‘All operatives are presently busy.’

Meetings in the offices are just as important as having interactions with family members from time to time, to remain updated on things. Systems are in place for sending directives through written communications in form of circulars, DO letters which reach employees’ desks but it’s not always ensured that the contents are read & assimilated. Reminders have to be sent periodically. Face to face meetings with staff can do away with one-sided talk and involve healthy interactions & views rather than a monologue.  

Steve Jobs said ‘Meetings must achieve a purpose’. Discussions must result in decision-making. Aimless ‘end of day’ harangue, can’t be a recipe for the organizational success !

Recently I was to meet a friend for some work. He felt we meet after working hours at his office, so we could talk at ease. When I reached, he wasn’t at his desk and the staff outside the training room informed me wisely “Meeting chalu hai, lagta hai 8 baje tak chalegi, Boss sabki ‘class’ le rahe hai. Aap friend ko whatsapp karo !” Having worked for decades in a Bank, I knew what ‘Class Lena’ meant if Boss wasn’t in a happy mood. In reply to the message my friend asked me to wait or come back after about one hour.

The wait seemed endless to me, counting minutes, then hours. The meeting went on for excruciating 125 Mts, the length of an OTT film, which if chosen well, could’ve engaged & spurred staff to action for the results that the Boss was so laboriously harping upon. The indispensable ‘meeting’ culture is still alive in our offices despite the all round debate raging on about work-life balance, extended working hours & employee fatigue affecting productivity. Late sittings and working 12-14 hours is still signifying diligence.

Winding the clock back to the 1980s and our early work-years, for us it was all ‘baptism by fire’ working through the week. In those days, Saturday half-day was converted into a full day for backlog clearance and Sunday reserved for full day meetings with Higher Authorities. Relentless one-way tirades on management’s unfulfilled expectations from operating teams, further dented officer morale. After great persuasion by Associations, Sunday meets stopped. With holidays on each 2^nd & 4^th Saturday, banker’s were happy. Then ‘Covid’ came – a ‘WFH’ culture & all day on-line meetings have since taken over !

Official meetings generally revolve around focused discussions & the steps to be taken on issues for determining the way forward & presided by Seniors to groups of officials. The word is being loosely used by almost everyone. Often when you call the answer is ‘Will call later, am in a meeting’ even if people are engaged in a chat in the canteen or fixing errands or getting the car repaired but wouldn’t like to be disturbed. ‘Customer Care’ is uncaring when you call – the reply you’ll get ‘All operatives are presently busy.’

Meetings in the offices are just as important as having interactions with family members from time to time, to remain updated on things. Systems are in place for sending directives through written communications in form of circulars, DO letters which reach employees’ desks but it’s not always ensured that the contents are read & assimilated. Reminders have to be sent periodically. Face to face meetings with staff can do away with one-sided talk and involve healthy interactions & views rather than a monologue.  

Steve Jobs said ‘Meetings must achieve a purpose’. Discussions must result in decision-making. Aimless ‘end of day’ harangue, can’t be a recipe for the organizational success !

Let’s recall our school days and the way everyone looked up at the person with awe, when first three position holder’s names were announced (at least it was in my school !) in the morning Assembly post the exams or competitions. Sadly, today we have the dubious distinction of being 71^st in the Paris Olympics medals tally taken with the fact that we’re the world’s most populous and fastest growing nation. What’s tougher for our pride to endure is we’ve managed six medals in all (one still on trial)& there are six star performers who secured the fourth place and were edged out of medals by narrow margins. Our logicas loyal fans- why couldn’t they have strived a little more !

At the highest level where seconds& inches can make a difference, fortune & fortitude play a part on the finishing line. Let’s not forget two historic ‘close misses’ resulting in heart-breaking ‘fourth’ at Olympics – ‘Flying Sikh’ Milkha Singh (1960) in the 400m race falling short by a mere 0.1 seconds & legendary PT Usha (1984) in 400 m hurdles by 1/100^th of a second ! Coming ‘fourth’ is tragic, ‘so near and yet so far’ the loser isn’t less deserving, just there’s no place on winner’s podium for more than 1,2 and 3!

That doesn’t mean that the fourth position is less vital, not only in sports but in life’s other spheres as well.Let’s look at the ‘Fourth Estate’, the prestigious name bestowed on the ‘Press’, the veritable powerhouse called the media that’s being now given many names by various parties & who’s over dominant role in influencing views is palpable.   

Coming to ‘aamjanta’,people (seniors) while booking flights, opt for seats somewhere not right in front and too far back, fourth row would be fine !  Ditto for a sold out movie theatre, quite a few have seen a film sitting in the fourth row when they were the only tickets available. If you’re fourth in a very long queue (in a bank counter or for a job interview), chances are you’ll make it with some luck ! In cricket, a batsman coming fourth (at two down) is probably the most valued player. That’s where Sachin played !

What about those who are fourth in the family lineage ? After all it’s the eldest who’s expected to lead by example and many do ! But here are virtues ascribed to the Fourth born children -they often develop the ability to deal well with people, with all of those personality types growing up. They may turn out to be great thinkers& able to manage challenging situations. They may even be analytical, hard working, pushy or passive.

Being the fourth born, a boywith three elder siblings (sisters) and one younger sister,  I was treated the same in our family with liberal parents, except that I had my own wardrobe and never had to wear my elder sisters’ hand me downs ! In all humility, I may possess some of the above virtues but as our dear Dad had always wanted, we all big turned out to be compassionate &humane ! Being fourth wasn’t such a problem !