It’s always great to end the year on a high (not by number of pegs of Scotch) but in feeling highly moved by something as compelling as the Vidhu Vinod Chopra film ‘12^th Fail’ now on Netflix !

It tells an incredible story of an extremely humble and financially deprived youth from Chambal, MP, who’s rural based and is what’s called an HMT (Hindi Medium Type) with aspirations of cracking the highly competitive UPSC Exams but without the wherewithal (funds, coaching & facilities) to compete where millions of youth try to become IAS or IPS Officers every year. The low-budget film has touched a chord with the masses and has been declared a sleeper hit !

It’s not just about competing and learning to cope with repeated failures at the various levels of the Competition but continuing to persevere with insane passion against all odds, learning from the past mistakes and telling oneself to ‘Restart’ as Manoj Sharma, the young protagonist does without compromising on his ideals of integrity at all costs. The film is inspired from the book on the inspirational life of the real Manoj Sharma, IPS and in some ways reminds one of Will Smith’s beautiful, poignant movie “The Pursuit of Happiness’ (2006) ! Vikrant Massey playing the lead is outstanding & is well supported by the excellent Medha Shankar & others in the cast. 

Not all stories of despair & struggles against failures are told since it’s success and results that matter to most people at the end of the day. While cracking the UPSC is the coveted goal-post, other competitive exams (like NEET etc) are herculean challenges as lakhs vye for the seats for professional courses. Only the top brains can enter the portals of IITs, IIMs and elite institutes. And being qualified is also not always a guarantee for the kind of work that one has aspired for !

Some of those who’ve got jobs, often find the process of internal promotions & growth in some of the public sector organizations and even those in the private sector slow, painstaking and partisan. Many then decide to quit & try elsewhere while some put in hard yards and long hours and battle on. They appear in interviews year after year like the indomitable Manoj Sharma but don’t make the cut or can’t find themselves in promotion lists. Job attritions are the end result.

It’s so heartening that such a film talks of those who repeatedly fail but don’t give up, portraying them as fighters and not as losers. They are real role models for the struggling youth of today ! 

It’s hard to ignore him for he’s Bollywood’s mainstream, big-budget film-maker who’s movies (mostly with favorites like SRK), glitzy, emotional, with larger than life ‘shaadi’ sequences and a quintessentially Punjabi flavor, that are super hits & misses (like KKKG or ‘Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham’), he’s one who plays Santa to wannabe star-kids giving them breaks & hosts a famous Chat-Show called ‘Koffee with Karan’ !

His latest guests on K-w-K were a departure from the usual twosomes (star couples, hit screen pairs, siblings etc) and featured the charming Sharmila-ji and her star son, Saif Ali Khan and turned out to be delightful replete with spilling out of childhood pranks and mother-son banter ! Without becoming a spoiler for those who may see the episode I begin to wonder what’d happen if Karan invited my late Mom and me for a Tete-a-Tete over Chai (since we’re ordinary folks) !

It was commonly known that having been a teacher for many years, Mom was a keen talker. But with her hearing impaired, her listening skills took a back-seat as my late Dad would heartily agree. I’m sure that Mom would dominate the show and answer all the questions, including the rapid fire rounds. It’s not that she felt I couldn’t talk but had so many stories to tell that even K Jo would’ve run out of time and handed her the prize hamper !

My favourite one is from the time I was too small to argue my case and Mom extolled my virtues to the Principal who had refused to admit me to his College. She told the shocked Principal that he had to recognize talent from an very early age and her son would soon top the class ! Truth emerged triumphant, I got admitted and came first in class but to me Mom was the clear winner.

The second one was her favourite though I doubt it’s true. We were five siblings (four sisters and ekla bhai) and during the Durga Pujas, a local ‘Darji’ would be asked to come home and lots of clothes would be stitched for my sisters, considering there were four. Once I’d asked Mom ‘why nothing much was happening for me’ and she said ‘After they get married, everything is for you’ to which I had retorted ‘The way things look, I don’t think anything will be left for me’ !!

The third story (again embarrassing me), was when I was grown up and had two sons, who were very attached to their Grandpa specially. In 1998, when we celebrated our parents 50^th Wedding Anniversary on our terrace in our Lucknow home, both the sons sang Dadu’s favourite ‘Saigal’ songs, and on demand I sang also. One friend came up to Mom and said brightly ‘Aunty, your grandsons sing so well’ ! Mom haughtily said ‘Yes, but they don’t sing as well as my Son does’ ! As the old saying goes ‘Mother Knows Best’ and we may add to that ‘She Says it the Best’ !

31^st Dec, it’s the New Year’s Eve, Quickly the year is about to end,

Just other day, a journey began, Now that road is about to bend,

Old still searching for happiness, Mid-aged still trying to succeed,

Tempestuous youth still restless, Savvy Kids still avoiding to read,

Will the New Year be much better, Can all our dreams now come true,

Will money, fame start to follow us, Move on from being with just a few,

Let’s revisit some of the real values, In old texts & letters we had found,

A world where you can be anything, Be humble, compassionate & kind,

The best things in life are still free, Smiles, laughter, just being simple, 

No matter what happens now in life, Let’s stay happy & be good to people!

Have a Wonderful New Year !

31^st December, 2023

It’s that time when things are brightly and beautifully decorated and the Yuletide spirit brings good cheer and bon-homie & lights us up into wishing ‘Merry Christmas’ across time zones and continents wherever our loved ones, friends and well wishers are placed. Since our early days we’ve associated Christmas (colloquially called Bada-Din) with two symbols of love and gifts, Santa Claus & Christmas Cakes, which we all look forward to !

As it always happens with me, there’s a big flashback of childhood memories where we siblings lovingly recall someone who was akin to Santa & would treat the family a virtual ‘Fest’ of cakes during every Xmas for more than two decades. Singh Uncle was Dad’s old buddy from his early days and it was a ritual followed that our entire family (my parents & we 5 siblings) visited his home on Christmas Day every year in Mahanagar, Lucknow.

Highlight of this trip for us was the unlimited amount of plum cakes (and other goodies) Singh Uncle would urge us to gorge on. Our Mom’d give us the ‘stern eye’ with a bid to intervene after we’d had 2-3 pieces of cake (to her it wasn’t proper if 5 children hogged like this) but the kind hosts would smile. Uncle would say ‘Inhi logon ke liye to banwaya hain, let them eat’! Having had variety of cakes since then, I never found the same taste.                

We may wonder, what’s the difference between a normal fruit cake & a Christmas cake ? Well traditionally Christmas cakes are like a labour of love, there is a feeding process with the Christmas cake which gives it a richer flavour. The longer you feed the cake, the better it is supposed to be. A lot of people who make their own Christmas cakes start the process around 6 months before the big day. Singh Uncle would order special Christmas cakes from local maker/bakery months in advance and preserve them in big, dry trunks. 

Singh Uncle passed away more than two decades ago as did our Dad and later Mom. We nostalgically reminisce these people specially on Xmas day, not just for the wonderful cakes but for the kindness and benevolence that they spread in the true Yuletide spirit ! At a time when Happy Xmas tidings are now more confined to social media messaging, Singh Uncle and his ilk remain symbols of the real Santa like experiences we truly had !

Having reached 69 (not out)  on 18th Dec. I always think of the 22nd as not just the third Friday of December but as one of my oldest friends, late Rajiv Pawha’s birthday. In all the years that we’d been friends, we never forgot to wish each other on our birthdays.

I first met Rajiv back in 1959 (both little boys then) when I was admitted to La Martiniere Girls in Lucknow in Class I, since in those good old days, boys were allowed to study up to Class IV in the school. Three of my elder sisters were already doing well there and though tough, the Lady Principal couldn’t refuse my Mom, who could be very persuasive, if needed !  

Our camaraderie and bonds as classmates progressed to being close family friends and history would repeat itself many years later when both our sons became class buddies in La Mart Boys.

Personally I have many memories that span over six decades from the 60s, of attending each other’s birthday parties, exchanging gifts (including the book ‘Treasure Island’ ) and learning new skills (like driving) in which Rajiv was always the frontrunner. To me, he was akin to a hero not only in his good looks but in his maturity, wisdom & all round talents. 

Knocking on the doors of the 70s, I and my ilk now like to dwell and talk about our old friends and of that era of lasting friendships and enduring relationships that were unconditional and heartfelt. Quite a few of them have left early but there were some like Rajiv who brought much joy and succour to their friends, and even after they have gone the light of that remains with them as fond memories of the city of Lucknow and the luminaries and characters that made it charming. Cheer’s to ‘Bubble’ and to the health and well being his loving family and friends !

The wise ones say that everything in life happens with a purpose and at the appointed hour and space, but we rarely understand the significance of that timing and call it being fortuitous or plain luck. Being at the right place at the right time is really ‘Grace’ that we sometimes receive in life. Some unknown forces were indeed guiding our (my wife’s and my)paths, thousand miles across country’s Western Megapolis, Mumbai towards an unforgettable experiential journey starting in Lucknow, the Capital City Of UP state in the Northern part of India.

It just happened. We were perfectly placed (at our dear friend’s home) to undergo a truly cathartic experience in the short but memorable ‘Happiness Programme’that beautifully sets the platform for the ‘Advanced’ course of the amazing and acclaimed ‘Art of Living’programme propounded by therenowned spiritual guru of our country, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, that are held in many parts of our country by a vastly dedicated and efficient organisation.

There is no way to describe this course except to experience it as it unfolds with life lessons that touch the core of the heart and elevate the mind and the body to a different level. Inevitable arethe vicissitudes of life for every mortal being, we are better prepared to deal with adversity when it dawns that the highs and lows are two sides of the same coin. What we imbibe through regular ‘Pranayam’and ‘Sudarshan Kriya’ (breathing exercises, repose, meditation) leads to inner calm, peace and happiness.We are indebted to brilliant, effervescent, versatile Trainer, Mrs.Neeta Dhupar (who has been a long time friend to us with Mr.Ashok Dhupar, Sir) for the opportunity to participate in this wonderful programme.

We all try to find tranquillity from the frenetic action and bustling activity of everyday existence even if it is temporary period, for there’s no escape from the daily grind of professions, jobsand business and setbacks, uncertainties, instability and risks in life.The course not only provided us a ‘Calm before the storm’ we facedbut a path to be ‘Calm’(Balanced) against any storm !

From Somnath Sinha with Tandra Sinha

Dated :13.08.23

Just a little while before we got engrossed with the heroics of the ‘Men in Blue’ in the ODI, World Cup 2023 and it’s heart-breaking finale, R Balki’sbrilliantly riveting film and inspiring sports drama ‘Ghoomer’ broke on Zee 5, leaving its impact on discerning audiences and earning critical acclaim but sadlywithout much fanfare behind it (and no super stars to boast of), the movie didn’t set the stage on fire.

We finally watched it yesterday&got simply bowled overby its great twirl of emotions. For starters, significance of the film’s title is to be understood.Ghoomer or Ghumar is a traditional folk dance of Rajasthan that follows a circular motion. The suggestive title twirls into meaning, quite literally, as a part of a rousing climax, after it journeys a one-handed cricketer’s giant struggles. Delving into the realm of women’s cricket and its processes, the film tells the amazing story of Anina, an upcoming batting prodigy who loses her right hand in a freak car accidentthus ending her bright cricketing career.

However, the unsympathetic and failed test cricketer, Padam “Paddy” Singh Sodhi, gives her new hope to revert to‘spin’ bowling as batting is no longer an option for her. A tireless, ruthless taskmaster, he goes about training her in his own backyard with unconventional techniques, to turn her fate around as a bowler who then stuns the cricketing world with the most unique bowling action and figures. Though fictional to Indian context, the film is inspired by the story of Károly Takács, the late Hungarian right-hand shooter who won two Olympic gold medals with his left hand …

It’s easy to say that the film will only find resonance with cricket buffs &lovers of the game. Others may take it akin to a documentary on the art of spin bowling. The film in some ways is reminiscent of the film ‘Iqbal’ (2005) on making of a pace bowlerfacing many hardships.  It’s all about indomitable human endurance and an unshakeable will to succeed on the big stage on one side andthe emotional turmoil that the family and kin of the cricketer and coach must undergo in their unstinted support to their cause.

The highlight of the film apart from Balki’s superb direction and narration, are the lead stars, Saiyami Kher and Abhishek Bachan. The former being a cricketer who’s played for Maharashtra state, plays her role with intensity and passion that’s most laudable. It’s not surprising that Abhishek puts in a stellar performance as the disgruntled but immensely talented coach, but he’s still not rated as highly as he deserves in Bollywood where mediocrity can succeed. Also in the form of bonuses are two cameos – Shabana, as Aunt who’s cricket knowledge is encyclopaedic &Big B as theEnglish commentator, highly surcharged with patriotism and lapsing into Hindi phrases,are sodelightful !Wish we’d more soul-stirring films like these & less of masala mix of gore & violence.

Ascribe it to the cooler climate accompanying colourful festivals universally celebrated post-summer and rains and the‘Big Fat Indian Marriage’ season, the traditional male Indian dress in celebratory modes makes a huge comeback, much like our batters KL Rahul and Shreyas Iyer did in this edition of the on-going World Cup ! This doesn’t refer to leaders (barring a few) always garbed in pyjama-kurta-jacket, mostly in white.

Without making a pitch to friends to switch over to ‘desi’ dressing at all times and put aside their jeans and tees, it’s remarkable that a resplendent, bright kurta worn well gives quite a regal lookbesides being a comfortable attire. There’s been a not so silent revolution from the way the old-world pyjama-kurta was worn by our ancestors. I don’t recall my Dad ever adorning muti-coloured, striped and psychedelic kurtas though he was a natty dresser in his hey days. They weregenerally white or in soft pastel shades.

Even with limited knowledge of ‘couture’ and understanding of the latest trends, one can notice the expansive variety and designs that ‘kurtas’ have attained (and my piece  will not include the ‘shaadi-wale’ groom’s wear that designer create for rich & famous).  In my hometown Lucknow, famous ‘Chikan’ kurtas have evolved into exotic designs, with collar and without, full and short sleeves, embroidery work all over or plain etc. Needless to say we often use them since they are best suited to the North Indian heat.

That apart, kurtas for men come in different fabrics &textures, from reasonably priced to outrageous enough to stagger middle class folks yet there’s enough that’s affordable. I’ve understood from the fashion conscious that a ‘long kurta’ for men is a good option that goes well with jeans but the kurta has to be a bit below the knees. However, for the sporty look is the printed short kurta while mandarin collar solid kurtas are classy.Minor accidents happen ! Recently I’d been gifted a nice ‘very’ long kurta which for right fitting, my tailor so badly chopped off, it became a ‘short’ kurta to my chagrin !

The popularity of Indian styled dresses, cuisine and ethnicity continues to charm the world with the Indian diaspora dictating some of the fashion trends across continents. Cricket and IPL festival has further contributed to all the foreign players, teams and their coaches bonding with floral designer Indian ‘kurtas’, curries and food flavours and warm hospitality extended. Some like Maxwell have found life partners here ! As the saying goes ‘you are only as good as the people you dress’. It’s cool to look Indian !

Always There for Each Other

Where our Sisters are without fear, And their heads are held high,

Where their Good Advice comes freely, With W’app messages in great supply,

Where Bijoya pens poems from the, Depths of introspection,

Where Sumita stretches her gentle, Arms towards perfection,

Where Shibani embraces wonderful, Joys of being a Granny,

Where standing tall on strong knees, Is our dear Kalyani,

Where ever-widening Sinha Family, Adds more beautiful grandchildren,

Where each day brings happy tidings, Of Baroda, Singapore & our Americans,

In that heaven-like Bonding & ‘Bhalo Basha’, Let us siblings celebrate this auspicious day

With lots of love and ‘Shubecha’ !

By Sanju / Somnath

(With apologies to Gurudev Rabindranath)

Dated : 11^th, November, 2023

It’s now nearly a week since the World Cup debacle hit the ‘Men in Blue’ and left the billion fans in and outside the stunned ‘Motera’ stadium in ‘cricket moaning’ as if struck by ‘bolts from the blue’ and a ‘leap of faith’ interrupted !Expectedly there were countless theories and takes on why and how the Indian team ‘Lost the Plot’(Cup) !Still one cannot help but laud the lion-hearted winning spree of our boys through the entire league matches.That the PM himself reached out to pat and reassure them after the match was quite heartening,whichhas however, been interpreted in many ways !

That also reminds us of our days when we would be at the receiving end of flak from the Higher Authorities for not achieving the desired goals (targets) and in the worst case scenario, the concerned Zonal Chief or some Corporate Office bigwig would visit the Branch/Office uninvited to express his displeasure. It’s said by Management Gurus that you must praise a worker/manager in public but chastise in private (and not in entire view of the staff) for it can adversely affect the team’s morale and future efforts.

However, these niceties were often put aside as the Boss, having received firing from his Superiors for not attainingdesired results,in turn unleashed fury on the cowering staff led by an even sorrier looking leader. Failure to achieve goals was never looked upon kindly and whether the branch/office had strived laudably but that the set targets were too unrealistic, weren’t considered to be in the realm of reasonable possibilities !

Coming back to Cricket, Captain Rohit Sharma had candidly stated even before the Finals, that one loss while transform me into a poor leader so I’m not getting carried away by the laurels being showered on me. Despite the lessons taught by those who’ve tasted success – treat failures as stepping stones to learn from mistakes and to make the necessary changes, the perception that ‘nothing fails like failure’ is all too evident.

But changes in attitude take place slowly and suddenly, the low-key Vikrant Massey film ’12th Fail’has become a big sleeper-hit not only for its cinematic qualities but it having inspired, specially the youth, to approach failures in life differently, as did the film’s protagonist. The stories of insurmountable struggles of most of the achievers in world of sports, business, entertainment etc have walked the ‘Fail to Rise Again’talk !