The 5th day of September is called ‘Teacher’s Day’ since 1962 ,when on his birthday, the then President Sri S Radhakrishnan advised visiting students to celebrate the day to honour and respect the ‘teachers’. This has resonated in our country which has a great heritage of revering the ‘Guru’ as first source of learning & knowledge that we acquire. Many of us not only remember our school teachers’ names but wisdom they imparted & valuable lessons we learnt that left indelible impressions even after a span of decades. In course of time some became teachers, professors, mentors and training professionals.

If one were to pose the question ‘Who was your best teacher’ to ‘God of Cricket’ Sachin, he’d easily name RVAchrekar Sir, his famed Coach but ask ‘what was your best innings ever’, he’d be hard put to answer. Maybe it was the skill, power, maturity he gained with time while facing the best bowlers and often getting out early to some were lessons on technique & temperament which he mastered in his great journey of 100 centuries !

That’s why we often hear, ‘Experience is the best teacher, but that’s only true if you reflect on it and extract its lessons’. If I were asked the question at the age of twenty, my favourite teachers were parents first, then school teachers, professors and clever friends.    Another decade later, they would be my versatile spouse and her parents whom I got to know better. In four decades of service, achievements and setbacks apart, it was gradual coming to terms with realities of life, being patient & persevering & learning the ropes from seniors and co-workers. Best lessons were learnt in edgy moments of crises and also from experience of others.‘To do or not to do’ as a ‘Banker Hamlet’ would ponder…  

I must acknowledge that two sons later became my best ‘IT’ trainers. When I wanted to start a blog I’d no clue, so it was set up by the elder one. A slow 40 + computer learner, I struggled initially and my younger son had strict rules for regular ‘hands on’ sessions. For a special occasion I’d visualized a video presentation – pics, commentary and songs but was helplessly incompetent. IT Whiz-kid nephew then came to my rescue in style !

Yes, it’s never to late to learn – in fact with age comes maturity and rationality and a quest to learn more (82 yr old Big B quizzes KBC contestants to know about their lives !) and our old friends by inspiring deeds motivate us to the bigger goals. My ‘good news’ story is about a retired friend, who’s devotion to nursing and caring for his 92 year old father (a widower) is so exemplary & it reminds me of my Dad’s devotion for his Dad !  I have always felt that the best teacher doesn’t talk, tell or teach. He just does things & inspires.     

For an objective citizen’s standpoint there is justifiable anger and angst everywhere reflected in the protests, resentment and outrage at the social, civic and economic woes.

This ‘angry’ effect has spilled over not only to our restless, impetuous youth unhappy with the system but also to all types of working class and specially ‘handymen’, who’ve to use an economic term, become extremely ‘price-sensitive’ in terms of their charges. There are also agencies which provide trained handyman, but few can afford their cost.

In the good old days they’d be few good handymen called ‘Mistris’, versatile with ‘all round’ skills in repairs & maintenance issues related to home gadgets and available nearby. They would gladly come when called and solve all the problems without much ado. It’s also important to recall that local made appliances that were then in vogue, were much fewer & technologically simpler and user friendly, the parts locally available & operations familiar to the friendly neighborhood Mistris !

With technology have come sophisticated gadgets and home appliances which help us in practically all the daily chores from kitchen to living rooms to the toilets, we have the full range and we aren’t talking of furniture, curtains and home décor yet. The branded items are pricey and high-maintenance with usual 1/2 year warranty and no guarantees that it’ll last a decade (as it used to earlier). In the very recent past we’ve replaced water pumps, ceiling fans, toilet flush, doors (apart from minor electric & mechanical repairs). At any given time we’ve found some or other appliance drops dead or fails to function.

Its then time for the experts to take over and diagnose the problems- for the electricians, carpenters, plumbers, gardeners are now specialists in their field. Akin to professionals (doctors, accountants, lawyers etc), we have free lancers and those attached to shops & business establishments with calling cards, visit after taking appointments and in some cases consultation fees too, when they involve bigger appliances. Even for minor repairs they will demand visit fees of Rs.250 upwards plus cost of parts replaced but for major jobs – ‘sky can be the limit’ ! Notwithstanding all this it’s difficult to find the right guys !       

Despite nationwide unemployment, the pool of experienced, qualified professionals is relatively small. Unlike trades like plumbing or electrical work, there are no standard educational or certification requirements to become a handyman. This means quality and skill levels can vary greatly between different handymen, making it harder for us consumers to assess and compare their capabilities. Being in demand, handymen are often juggling multiple jobs and customers, making it challenging for them to commit to firm appointment times or be available on short notice. Many are migrants to Mumbai from UP, Bihar, new to the area leaving them relatively unknown in their local markets.

Maybe, we could train to do some of this work ourselves, not depend on experts. Let’s learn from those friends & relatives abroad, who can’t afford having handymen over !

Most of us are nostalgic about our native place, to the ‘manor born’ as we’d say. In our parental Lucknow home, a big old iron gate opens with a loud clang as if announcing a visitor in vintage Victorian style & the old contraption has served us well for years. It has a lever attached that’s brought down to shut the gate’s doors. In our last visit we found the lever getting detached because the nut holding the lever’s bolt had fallen off. Such an ‘iron-y’ for a large gate to be rendered defenseless by a little ‘nut’ gone missing. Let’s also recognize the worth of the ‘bolt’ that stayed on, but only just, without the nut !  

To most this may appear commonplace, everyday occurrence but there’s an analogy we can draw here that’s akin to a valuable life’s lesson. Hardly considered important in the overall aesthetic context of an appliance, furniture or an ornamental showpiece, the nut is typically screwed on to a bolt as a fastener, keeping the set-up fundamentally secure. But if it’s missing things can get shaky. In that sense it’s like the fine ‘balance’ of being grounded and humble that will keep a person feeling secure at all times. On the other hand, the sturdy ‘bolt’ may represent the core values of integrity, ethics & sincerity that give the moral strength to one’s character ‘and which must remain ‘rust-free’ !   

The English language, however, doesn’t allow words to be less versatile in their usage. So we have in board meetings, the directors asking the executives to explain the ‘nuts & bolts’ of the plan or acting trainees asking a producer the nuts & bolts of film-making, and interviewers asking Chefs on TV the secret ingredients of their gourmet dishes etc.

In essence the basics of everything needs to be known before setting out to really do it !

And of course talking of cakes & chocolates can remind us of lovely ‘nuts’ and almonds.

Moving on, how can ‘romance’ figure with something that’s as mechanical as ‘nuts’ but ever since we grew up, we heard our friends confiding and sharing notes ‘He’s nuts over her’ or vice versa depending on who’s afflicted by the attraction. Rarely however, are these same words used romantically after marriage. It’s like ‘Have You Gone Nuts?’ that spouses ask when discussing expensive travel plans, gifts, relatives etc etc. And  then we’ve people going ‘Nutty’ as in Jerry Lewis (1963) classic ‘The Nutty Professor’ !  

Whichever way we look at them ‘nuts’ are everywhere and have their own significance in life, love and machines. David Icke said it best ‘Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground’. In today’s mad, mad world it’s easy to go ’nuts’ angrily over incessant rising prices. With media and the millennial all going berserk with acidity & trolls, the only ones we seniors would lovingly be ‘nuts’ about, are ‘Grandchildren’ !

Stars : Gregory Peck & Audrey Hepburn

Available (on Rent) on Prime Video

Made more than seventy years ago ‘Roman Holiday’ remains one of the most celebrated, followed and loved films that set the benchmark for perfection in screenplay, direction and acting for all times in the ‘romantic drama’ genre. Directed by William Wyler, the brilliant film-maker of splendid epics like ‘Ben-Hur’ and rom-coms such as ‘How to Steal a Million’, it was the debut movie in an American film of legendary actress Audrey Hepburn, that won her the ‘Best Actress’ Oscar award alongside awards for ‘Best Story’ & ‘Best Costume’.

I first saw this beautiful film when I was only twelve years old, in the mid-60’s upon the recommendation of my Dad, a real Hollywood movie buff ( andthen saw many more times after that) and was bowled over by the charming love story with all its gentility, graceand humour. The plot revolves the escapades of a young Princess Ann bored with the ‘ennui’ of royal protocol& sheltering, who decides to escape her palatial ‘prison’ and discover Rome on her own. (As a sidelight, the story is said to be loosely based on Princess Margaret’s life).

Ann has been given medicines to shrug off travel weariness.As the drug takes effect while she flees, she falls asleep atop a low wall, where Joe Bradley(soelegantly played byGregory Peck), an American reporter, fortuitously finds her. Not recognizing her, thinking that she’s intoxicated he takes her to his apartment to sleep it off. While all hell breaks loose over her disappearance and Joe’s Editor sniffs a big story, Joe can’t just reveal there’s a Princess in his room. What follows is Ann’s delightful discoveries of commoner’s life and ways in her ‘Roman Holiday’ and she slowly falls in love with her gentleman saviour and the charming companionship of Joe and his friend. But can she shirk royal status & responsibilities that come with it for all times to come ?

The film is a masterpiece in simple story-telling and both Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn hold you spellbound with their poise & artless performances. For us, it was part of growing up and an adolescent tryst with idea of romance. But it has such a universal appeal that it cuts across all ages & generations.   

As per Wikipedia, in 1999, ‘Roman Holiday’ was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”. The film has been considered one of the most romantic films in cinema history. Just go for it !

Stars : Gregory Peck & Audrey Hepburn

Available (on Rent) on Prime Video

Made more than seventy years ago ‘Roman Holiday’ remains one of the most celebrated, followed and loved films that set the benchmark for perfection in screenplay, direction and acting for all times in the ‘romantic drama’ genre. Directed by William Wyler, the brilliant film-maker of splendid epics like ‘Ben-Hur’ and rom-coms such as ‘How to Steal a Million’, it was the debut movie in an American film of legendary actress Audrey Hepburn, that won her the ‘Best Actress’ Oscar award alongside awards for ‘Best Story’ & ‘Best Costume’.

I first saw this beautiful film when I was only twelve years old, in the mid-60’s upon the recommendation of my Dad, a real Hollywood movie buff ( andthen saw many more times after that) and was bowled over by the charming love story with all its gentility, graceand humour. The plot revolves the escapades of a young Princess Ann bored with the ‘ennui’ of royal protocol& sheltering, who decides to escape her palatial ‘prison’ and discover Rome on her own. (As a sidelight, the story is said to be loosely based on Princess Margaret’s life).

Ann has been given medicines to shrug off travel weariness.As the drug takes effect while she flees, she falls asleep atop a low wall, where Joe Bradley(soelegantly played byGregory Peck), an American reporter, fortuitously finds her. Not recognizing her, thinking that she’s intoxicated he takes her to his apartment to sleep it off. While all hell breaks loose over her disappearance and Joe’s Editor sniffs a big story, Joe can’t just reveal there’s a Princess in his room. What follows is Ann’s delightful discoveries of commoner’s life and ways in her ‘Roman Holiday’ and she slowly falls in love with her gentleman saviour and the charming companionship of Joe and his friend. But can she shirk royal status & responsibilities that come with it for all times to come ?

The film is a masterpiece in simple story-telling and both Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn hold you spellbound with their poise & artless performances. For us, it was part of growing up and an adolescent tryst with idea of romance. But it has such a universal appeal that it cuts across all ages & generations.   

As per Wikipedia, in 1999, ‘Roman Holiday’ was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”. The film has been considered one of the most romantic films in cinema history. Just go for it !

Through the ages and as civilisation progressed to create social fabrics, one question that’s haunted the otherwise undaunted homemakers till date has been the perennial chant from hungry family members ‘What’s for Dinner’ ? This loaded query becomes pertinent when it comes after another round of Budget announcements wherein the Govt. informs how they intend to make our lives better but ‘Mummy’ knows all about high prices of vegetables, oils & foodstuffs& everyone should eat whatever’s cooked !

Somehow, whether it was great expectations that didn’t materialise or force of habit, we can recall that even back in the days when we’d polish off a full-plate of ‘noodles’ for just ten bucks and an ‘orange bar’ for one, Mom would admonish how costly things had become and importance of thrift. That said, we were rewarded occasionally with a feast specially if the marks for any of our siblings were good enough to be celebrated ! We realise now that they were past masters of financial management, managing large joint families and cutting the cloth accordingly. Prices were very low compared to now but there weren’t double incomes & side businesses, incomes were pretty nominal too.

Today things have not changed from the perspective of feeling the inflationary heat for the middle class with flat/low or no real incomes but a lot had changed in life-styling. Fast food instead of roti-sabji, snack munching rather than regular meals and on-line ordering as an alternative to ‘ghar ka khana’ are options that not only the millennial but the majority of the working class go for, though ‘tiffin-dabba’ is mandatory for the mid-aged and ‘sugar’ daddies placed under strict home regimen by watchful wives ! Small ‘idli-dosa’ restos& wayside ‘vada-pav’ stalls are clear favourites of working class but for savvier students its pizzas, burgers, fries, momos- Italian, Mexican,Tibetian…

For the ‘aam’ household, daily dinner is a not only an important event that needs prep but has to meet the fickle standards of the consumers (family folk), who after fussing fall in line. Home-maker is a real producer-director calling the shots on dining table !The Lady through extensive research and discussions with friends, knows the ‘dietary’ balance that must have veggies, proteins, roughage etc & less of fried stuff& ‘mitha’. After initial resistance, Baba log realise ‘way to Mom’s heart is through the veggies’ !Skipping dinners and binging out with friends is acceptable but juston occasions…

On a formal note, dinner dates and meetings are places to promote business interests, set marriage liaisons, start romantic interludes or even discuss a club’s financial affairs and new activities apart from catching up on the grapevine ‘gossip’ which some do. In his inimitable style, late Bhatti said in one of his shows on ‘meetings’ – ‘Agenda chahekuchbhiho, ‘Samose’garam hone chahiye.’! ‘Dinner’ menu is so important always. If that’s taken care of (with right drinks!), every dinner meet gets a stamp of approval.

(TV Film Made in 1997 )

Stars : Jack Lemmon, George C Scott & Others

Watch on : Prime Video

Most films are watched for entertainment, excitement, fun or relaxation and even for the messages they carry but few films can match the kind of education one can get from such a riveting movie that’s almost like a taut two hour play where every scene is a revelation and calls for reflection. In fact the version we saw now was made in 1997 but I learnt the same movie was first produced in 1957 with Henry Fonda in the lead !

The film asks questions of the legal system that’s debated on the seemingly open and shut case of a teenage boy accused of committing the crime of murdering his father. The presiding judge advises the jury to consider all the evidence and pronounce the ‘guilty’ verdict ( that will result in life or death sentence) only if it’s beyond reasonable doubt.Twelve jurors of different ages, colour, creed, backgrounds have been given the task. They retire to the jury room and deliberate to decide what the verdict should be.

It’s a hot day and steamy inside the jury room and some jurors wish to get the matter over with in a jiffy and almost everyone agrees that there’s everything to point towards the boy as guilty. However, a lone hand of one mid-aged gentleman is raised against the vote for guilty. Asked how he’s convinced of boy’s innocence his cryptic reply is ‘I don’t know, but I want to discuss the entire evidence – isn’t that why we are here ?’. I will not elaborate further on what happens next, but it keeps us hooked till the end !

As a professional trainer once involved in taking sessions on leadership/management also, let me confess, that apart from the persuasive arguments and counter questions that follow legal cases,the screenplay and dialogues of the film have enough gravity and substance in them that can be lessons in communication skills, art of negotiating, logical reasoning, empathetic listening, reading between the lines & decision making !

I dwell on the learning part because the theme was adapted into a captivating Hindi film ‘Ek Ruka Hua Faisla’ by Basu Chatterji in 1986 with all star cast of MK Raina, Pankaj Kapoor, Annu Kapoor & others and during my stint as a Faculty Member in the BOB Training Centre In Lucknow, we’d show the film to our trainees & take their feedback. At the time, I hadn’t seen ‘Twelve Angry Jurors’ but having watched it, I found that two films were virtually a copy of the other, yet both excellent in execution.

Besides other remarkable aspects of the movie, watch the marvellous performances of the two principal characters played by Jack Lemmon and George C Scott. Others too !

In the 1960-70s era of black and white films, famed film-maker Basu Bhattacharya made thought-provoking, critically acclaimed films like “Teesri Kasam’, ‘Aavishkar’ and ‘Anubhav’ and fortunately the latter two are now available on ‘Prime Video’ for cine-lovers of what was then called ‘art’ films. We picked ‘Anubhav’ (I’d seen it about five decades ago and still remembered flashes of brilliance) my wife hadn’t, so it would be interesting to find nuances of enchantment, after 44 years of marital togetherness !

Cynical as we all tend to become, two major learnings were – you actually never know your partner as well as you may think, maybe there are hidden facets still unexploredand that discovery is always fascinating as it comes. The other is expression of feelings (though recently one senior couple singing in the rain on Marine Drive got viral !) it’s not great to get wet in rains to feel romantic& be down for a week with a bout of flu !

Coming to the film, it’s about in the genre of sensitive films that try to delve into why marriages lose their lustre, after the first flush of romance and settle in mechanical motions of corporate life-styles, long hours at office for the Boss-manand in mundane domesticity for the lady with lots of servants & many hours of nothingness in between. What makes it come alive in the film is the spontaneity that Tanuja shows in her role as the neglected wife, who takes it upon herself to rearrange her life again ! Such is her sparkling vivacity that she uplifts the entire film- one can rename the film ‘Tanubav’ !

The second highlight, according to us, is the sublime music by Kanu Roy and beautiful heartrending songs from the masters of melody, Geeta Dutt and Manna Dey. One song ‘Mujhe Jaan Na Kaho..’is picturised aesthetically as the couple merge into the glow of marital bliss, realising they are falling in love again.The scene is reminiscent of the song ‘Kali Ghata Chaye..’ from classic ‘Sujata’ directed by Bimal Roy, Basu’s mentor. In that song too there is an awakening but of a young girl into mystique of womanhood.

More delightful aspects of the movie are the other wonderful actors. Sanjeev Kumaras the preoccupied husband who realises late what his wife means to him. We miss that natural style, versatility and comic timing that made him such a fine, award winning performer as also veteran AK Hangal who played senior roles with great effect. Dinesh Kumar gives an understated yet impressive third angle to the struggling relationship ! ‘Anubhav’ is a lovely walk down memory lane for us and a masterful musical journey..

When we were young one of our teachers had asked ‘What are the two saddest words in English ?’ and the answer was – ‘If Only’ ! With theon going Paris Olympics 2024 in full swing it’s been most disheartening that a number of our promising athletes were placed ‘fourth’ and lost out on the medals by just a ‘whisker’! If we feel crestfallen at this travesty of fate, think of what they felt as their dreams got dashed in just minutes.

In sports, talent contests, academic competitions,business ventures and video games   the margins of failures and successes are measurable and visible after the event. But in life we all face hits and misses with amazing regularity and in varying degrees and learn to cope with it. There is always an element of wistfulness of reflections when we look back – if we had done things differently, seized all the opportunities, realised the gravity of situations, given right answers, taken correct decisions, life would be better.

Yet that’s not how it works in reality since we are human and prone to making errors. Famously said ‘you win some, you lose some’ and then there is the law of averages too. Howard Schultz says ‘I believe life is a series of near misses. A lot of what we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It’s seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. It’s seeing what other people don’t see and pursuing that vision.’ Most achievers learn from their ‘near misses’ and try to ensure that they not succumb at crunch moments !

Misses don’t always have a negative connotations as was in the most recent incident of the failed assassination attempt on Donald (Trump) who claims to have ducked in time. A silver lining in grey clouds, many said this proved beneficial to his prospects. In Bengali we say ‘Phada Katlo’ or you overcame a bad omen when someone gets away with a minor injury, financial loss or experience that could’ve had disastrous results !

Lucky are those who get out of road/rail accidents but we must react when “potential accidents”situations start to occur because these “near misses” are, precisely, risk indicators. These “near misses” are warning lights forewarning us about the possibility of a potential accident. Timely corrective steps must follow on the likely causes.

Then there’s the positive side where you shouldn’t miss a chance to do something good and inspirational for fellow beings as you may do for loved ones and friends. Famous golfer Jeev Milkha Singh fondly remembers his Dad Milkha Singh, legendary sprinter.‘My Dad never misses a chance to remind me that whenever we are travelling together, if 100 people mob him for autographs, five approach me.’ What a motivator he was !

Finally, there’s always a lot of ‘missing’ between married couples when not near each other in the early phases of their togetherness but later on things may change and there are ‘near’ misses and hits at times. Tommy Cooper has tongue firmly in his cheek when he confesses ‘I’ve got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!’

Having been weaned in our youth on vintage Hollywood films of the 1950-60s by our Dad, an ardent fan of immortals like ‘Lost Horizon’, ‘Random Harvest’, ‘Gone with the Wind, ‘Roman Holiday’ & ‘An Affair to Remember’,the genrebased on classics and romantic novels and I’ve prided myself as having seen many but a few still remained, as other preoccupations took over in our lives and the era of B&W movies was replaced with glossier, racier, action-oriented kind of cinema emerging in the 70s.

As film buffs, many famous names still linger and when we chanced upon the 1960’s iconic film ‘The Apartment’ on Prime Video recently, I was over the moon, hoping PV wouldn’t take it off. I’ve known it was an acclaimed comedy by Billy Wilder, the famed director of ‘Roman Holiday’ that’s considered one of the most loved films of all time. We now had the chance to savour an old classic (a winner of many Academy awards), to enjoy US of the 60’s and feel that our Dad was chuckling along with us in spirit !To begin with, it had a superb star cast led by Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine, two incredible actors who kept us in splits in the film ‘Irma la Douce’ (1963) that was later wonderfully adapted in an Indianized version ‘Manoranjan’ with Zeenat Aman.

This film isin a nutshell about the funny escapades of an insurance clerk Baxter who, in the hopes of climbing the corporateladder, allows more senior coworkers to use his Upper West Side apartment to conduct their extramarital affairs.A dubious theme for those conservative times but shows that men would always be men !Baxter himself is a decent, soft-hearted guy, a do-gooder who feelsthat by helping out colleagues in clandestine liaisons,he isn’t really doing anythingshady though his image is taking quite a beating from suspicious neighbours. He is in a nice way attracted to an elevator operator in his office building, who responds with warm, friendly overtures. But in life, people aren’t what they appear to be and circumstances force everyone to compromise.

What appeals is that despite marital infidelity theme that surroundsthe film, there is certain dignity and a principled uprightness in the protagonist (Baxter) who will never take advantage of others even if it means putting himself in a spot. In fact, none of the office characters look darkly negative but reflect the weakness of moral fibre where illicit relationships thrive in large corporates and machinations and schemes unfold ! Wilder’s deft touches bring out the innate goodness in people, the warmth in human relationships & fellow feelings that extend beyond petty, selfish interests and purityof the chemistry between the lead pair comes out without resorting to explicit love scenes.