One of my favourite celebrity couples worth emulating, but near impossible to follow, are Ex-Prez Barack & Michelle Obama for their incredible chemistry, Over the years the Ex-Prez had shown characteristic candor in describing the various ways he admired his wife, but beneath that sparkling wit was his respect for her as a person which he never hesitated to express despite the intense scrutiny on them, as POTUS & First Lady. Back home, such expressions of affection for the better-half by those in high places (or in any place for that matter !) would be unthinkable.
In our days of joint families, there was hardly any visible communication between our grandparents except through gestures. It got a slightly better with our parents though nothing akin to mutual admiration was exhibited in public. In our ‘samaaj’, it’s still not kosher or cool to show pride in your spouse’s talents as it could reflect lack of a macho persona (the effects of patriarchal upbringing ?). There is also fear of being considered a “joroo ka gulam”, never mind what the real status is ! The English are very different. An old lady well in her 80s jokingly said of her sporting husband of 55 years ‘We’ve never thought of divorce anytime. But ‘Murder’ came to my mind everyday !’
There are notable exceptions of course. Soft-spoken PM, late Dr. Manmohan Singhji was famous for sharing Urdu couplets but when it came to singing he publicly acknowledged his Missus as the “real singer in the family” ! However, Bollywood can boast of some real he-men – evergreen actor Anil Kapoor once declared that he was so zapped by his lady-love’s fluency in Queen’s English, that he ended up marrying her ! For all his bravado, Shotgun Sinha has turned into a mild-mannered lamb in company of his admirable wife, Poonam, and feisty daughter, Sonakshi !
In the sports arena, legendary master blaster Sachin Tendulkar, looking dearly at wife Anjali, said in his famous farewell speech “Ours has been the best partnership “ against huge applause from the crowds. Another iconic cricketer, Virat Kohli, has attributed to the calming influence of his loving wife, Anushka, his transformation from the earlier firebrand superstar batter to his present sublimely tranquil persona on/off the field.
Enlightened men of today know better than not to accord due credit to the better half, who’s the backbone of betterment in the family. Silent gestures no good, ‘taarif’ should not only be done, it must appear to be done ! Meta & Instagram are available for artistic expressions of such worthy accolades ! But not all men are equipped for the fine art of showing appreciation. One gent was invited to a function as Chief Guest with his lovely wife & was asked to say a few words post dinner. He simply said ‘I enjoyed the dinner and my wife too !’ While his better half, didn’t enjoy his gaffe, others were in splits !
