I’d read that ‘Chemistry’ is the intermediate science between Physics and Biology but it made little difference as  I wasn’t quite cut out for the Science Labs. Friends superior in their ‘scientific’ temper would derive joy from chemical elements that make up matter and compounds and score high marks. For me writing literary essays was much easier.

The English words and phrases we used were simple, for instance saying ‘they got along like a house on fire’ meant they liked each other’s company but never was ‘chemistry’ or any science involved in it. In the last few decades ‘Chemistry’ has made a comeback, not as a favorite subject of study but as a most sought after element in human relationships. The young student of Chemistry may ask : Is it ‘Organic’ or ‘Inorganic’, ‘Physical’ or ‘Bio-chemic’. We’ve never known but it’s a bit akin to ‘magnetism’ that we learnt in Physics.

Today if people have better understanding of each other, we also use phrases like ‘same wavelength’ or ‘being on the same page’.  There’s a lot of thinking about what brings two people together in harmony. Chemistry, is neither science or art in human relationships, it just happens to provide that initial spark, excitement and deep emotional connection, making partners feel understood, attracted and safe, fostering easier communication, mutual growth, and a desire to be together. Isn’t that what we euphemistically explained ‘He Fell for Her Like a Ton of Bricks’ or ‘It Was Love at First Sight’ in our young days ?

For much married people, the concept of ‘Chemistry’ evolves from laws of physical ‘pull’ to the needs of compatibility (shared values/goals) for long-term success. It’s laughing through funny films, stories, memes,  jokes & always disagreeing to agree on everything (At Home, the Lady is always right in the end !) and playful intimacy that makes people remain connected, supports through challenges and creates a feeling of being “in sync”. 

If ‘Chemistry’ runs on a ‘have food-fun-fight’ script in average marital storylines, it has complex equations between generations with differing perspectives, liberated views on life-styles & spending and far more casual approach to relationships & responsibilities.  For the New Gen, listening to elders as they dole out advice, is tiring & cumbersome & the old voices of experience are generally outdated unless they appear digitally updated !

People try various ways to preserve ‘chemistry’ including taking separate holidays and hanging out with friends apart from usual family trips. We hadn’t thought about how we were faring till some friends commented on the duet song that we sang ‘ The singing was good & the chemistry great’. ‘Devotion’ & ‘Empathy’ can at times sound like ‘Chemistry’ !

It’s that time when things are brightly and beautifully decorated and the Yuletide spirit brings good cheer and bon-homie & lights us up into wishing ‘Merry Christmas’ across time zones and continents wherever our loved ones, friends and well wishers are placed. Since our early days we’ve associated Christmas (colloquially called Bada-Din) with two symbols of love and gifts, Santa Claus & Christmas Cakes, which we all look forward to !

As it always happens with me, there’s a big flashback of childhood memories where we siblings lovingly recall someone who was akin to Santa & would treat the family a virtual ‘Fest’ of cakes during every Xmas for more than two decades. Singh Uncle was Dad’s old buddy from his early days and it was a ritual followed that our entire family (my parents & we 5 siblings) visited his home on Christmas Day every year in Mahanagar, Lucknow.

Highlight of this trip for us was the unlimited amount of plum cakes (and other goodies) Singh Uncle would urge us to gorge on. Our Mom would’d give us the ‘stern eye’ with a bid to intervene after we’d had 2-3 pieces of cake (it wasn’t proper if her children hogged like this) but the kind hosts would smile. Uncle would say ‘Inhi logon ke liye to banwaya hain, let them eat’! Having had variety of cakes since then, I never found the same taste.               

We may wonder, what’s the difference between a normal fruit cake & a Christmas cake ? Well traditionally Christmas cakes are like a labour of love, there is a feeding process with the Christmas cake which gives it a richer flavour. The longer you feed the cake, the better it is supposed to be. A lot of people who make their own Christmas cakes start the process around 6 months before the big day. Singh Uncle would order special Christmas cakes from local maker/bakery months in advance and preserve them in big, dry trunks. 

Singh Uncle passed away more than two decades ago as did our Dad and later Mom. We nostalgically reminisce these people specially on Xmas day, not just for the wonderful cakes but for the kindness and benevolence that they spread in the true Yuletide spirit ! At a time when Happy Xmas tidings are now more confined to social media messaging, Singh Uncle and his ilk remain symbols of the real Santa like experiences we truly had ! In our autumn years we often look back at those wonderfully idyllic times – our parents, Uncles, Aunts & Family Elders actually ‘Took the Cake’ with their simplicity & goodness.  

After receiving the ‘Lifetime Achievement’Award that some selected achievers receive along with tons of adulatory praise from the organisers, a speech by the winner is called for. Usually words are “I feel honoured, elated, humbled, overwhelmed…and now I have a few people to thank..’ and it goes on for some time. For those hitting a milestone Birthday or Anniversary, it’s a bit similar as family & friends celebrate !

One can’t help recall an Old ‘Grand-Uncle’ joke, when after a celebratory dinner, the Chief Guest (not very conversant with English Grammar) gave a short speech that had everyone in splits. He said ‘I enjoyed very much the Dinner and my Wife too !!’. In the countless training sessions from our working days, we learnt that after-dinner speeches need special skill – the full palate enjoys funny stories and not cold facts !  

An important person was about to deliver a after-dinner speech but before he could, a friend handed him a chit from his wife which had on it scribbled 4 letters ‘K I S S’. His friend whispered, your wife must love you a lot. The speaker said ‘It’s not that kind of ‘Kiss’ – this means is ‘Keep it Short, Stupid’ (And spare us the Stale Jokes !).

On my milestone 70^th Birthday in Dec, 2024, I too got an opportunity to thank my dearest family and friends for the praise lavished on me so generously & charitably. I was reminded of similar tributes received on my retirement day, ten years ago when I had said ‘Boss, you didn’t invite my family– at least they would’ve known my sterling qualities, which I think they’re not fully aware of !’ A great opportunity lost there !

How can we talk of ‘Awardee Speeches’ and forget the Annual ‘Oscar Nights’ show telecast worldwide, where apart from heart-warming, witty takes on other famous stars, the winners show their emotional sides or political stands, depending on ‘mood of the nation’. One Show even had the award winning Actor punching the main Host. Bollywood also has its version in ‘Filmfare’ awards where the punch-lines come from Comic Anchors and recipients of awards elaborately ‘Thank Everyone’ responsible ! 

After-dinner speeches aim to entertain, often using humor, personal anecdotes, and appreciation for the event/hosts, like thanking organizers for a great night. At a bash at a friend’s place or an in-house party, the boisterous men may be forgetful not to remember thanking the architect of the evening, the chief chef & the home-maker. Let’s revisit our table manners & post-dinner scripts before people stop inviting us. 

Liberal-spenders & Big-shoppers, today’s young ‘Millennial’ & ‘Gen X, Y & Zee’ might wonder how parents/elders during the 1960-70s era ran the households and raised kids with considerably smaller mean(incomes) & large joint families. Even in frugal days, our parents facing rising prices would teach us value things by setting examples everyday in austerity, sans ostentation. They made sacrifices to ensure saving of each penny possible that helped us go ahead in life with the right values. Agreed that life then was simpler.          

Strong emphasis on ‘thrift’ were at play when we joined banking profession in late 70s. It was the then sacred religion of all bankers (more so, the PSU banks) to practice three magic watchwords– the operating bottom-line, recovery of funds lent and CASA, short for Current & Savings Bank (SB) accounts. SB had its many virtues of being less costly, stable, spread among all sections/ages of people & free of ‘rate’ risks. No wonder, all banks ended up vying for a piece of the Savings cake by offering hybrid-products, linking it to fixed deposits and freebees for maintaining accounts with higher balance. While after the deregulation of Savings interest rate by RBI in 2011, many private banks started offering higher rates, PSU banks continued at 4% rate for long.

Suddenly, SB, the dependable veteran, is not much sought after. The Banks felt that too much Savings has come in and they no longer need to attract depositors with the same force. This has led to an all round free fall of SB deposit rates to as low as 2.5% to 3.0%. More important is the profile and saving propensity of Saving depositors. Ranging from pensioners, daily wage labourers, shopkeepers, vendors to salaried small savers, it’s the segment for whom bank deposits are the only social security they have, to fall back on. 

Yet, over last decade there’s been a cultural shift from ‘Saving’ to ‘Spending’ for aspiring, urban youth with higher incomes & vying for flashy life-styles. ‘Saving’ is outdated and indiscriminate spending is fueled by easy, accessible credit (EMIs,BNPL,Fin-tech loans). Lifestyle upgrades (gadgets, travel, dining, branded clothes etc) driven by social media comparison, alongside rising living costs, job insecurity & need to borrow for essentials like fooding, rentals, education etc are leading to debt for consumption rather than asset building. A ‘Spend now, Pay later’ culture has outpaced the income growth, trapping many in huge ‘debt traps’ & EMIs showing the path to early indebtedness for our youth !

Even as far back as in the 16^th Century, Shakespeare urging ‘self-sufficiency’ had said in his play ‘Hamlet’ : ‘Neither a borrower nor a lender be’ meaning that one should avoid lending or borrowing money as heavy debts can strain relationships and create financial burdens. In today’s quick-fix digital world, borrowing short-term is route to meeting out even day to day expenses but comes at very high cost. Old phrases like ‘Cutting your coat according to the cloth’ still hold good. Savings, in whatever form do become our lifeline ! Not just profligate people, nations spending more, need to control their ‘Fiscal Deficit’ !   

Old friends I at times meet, Say I’m still young and neat,

And heartfelt messages I get, May say I’m one of the best,

Humbly, I Agree to Disagree..

Nothing comes from nothing, And surely, nothing ever could,

Somewhere in youth or childhood, Elders saw in me something good,

And the blessings remain with Me..

Every day is new day for learning, Wonders still continue to amaze,

There’s much left to see & know, Time ticks on, with it we all flow,

Live today, future’s not ours to see..

Birthdays come and go every year, Yet best gifts are being reminded of, 

Wonderful family, friends who care, And the loving wishes they all share,

I’m blessed, people still think of Me !

18^th, December, 2025

What a Delightful Luncheon Outing !

Watch on ‘Netflix’

Looking for a cool ‘cinematic’ getaway from the normal fare being dished out on OTT & theatres with heavy doses of action packed mayhem, violence & gore in the new age spy and crime movies of the thriller/horror genre that leave us with jarred nerves ! We were lucky to catch up with this wondrously delightful show – a short one hour journey where cinema heritage meets culinary passion in the most unscripted fashion. It’s not the usual film story  but really a lovely afternoon conversation, full of nostalgia and of homemade delicacies that offers a rare glimpse into the ‘Kapoors’, Hindi cinema’s first family,

It’s titled ‘Dining with the Kapoors’ conceived almost in-house, to honor the 100th birth anniversary of patriarch Raj Kapoor. It celebrates Bollywood’s legendary Kapoor family and as ‘Ranbir’ says their love for fun, food & family. It was created & crafted by Armaan Jain and directed by Smriti Mundhra and incredibly brought together five generations under one famous roof  (that of iconinc mansion built by the Showman ‘Raj Kapoor’ ) and old/new superstars Neetu, Kareena, Ranbir,  Karisma, ‘Jamai’ Saif Ali Khan, among many others gather in family bon-homie and sibling banter for a heartwarming meal.

Just like in big family reunions the excitement and loud squeals are palpable as they meet and greet each other and elder generation Kapoors share with the younger lot their treasured memories, laughter & the culinary delights curated by talented Armaan Jain teased as ‘Chef’ Ali Khan. It explores intimately the Kapoor family’s deep connection to food and cinema, showcasing their bond through shared memories and favorite dishes and the family traditions shaping the legendary dynasty. 

While the entire action is on the ‘dining table’ & exotic dishes, it had innovative themes like seating arrangements not with name plates but with childhood pics of each that was cute. Ranbir wanted each one seated to share their favorite childhood ‘food’ memories which invited lots of cross talk and suggestions jumping in. The post lunch speeches by Adar (Armaan’s bro), Ranbir & Saif were so heartwarming, generously earning applause. We missed those wonderful Kapoors of our generation – Late Shammi, Shashi & Rishi.

The show made us very emotional as it brought back many memories of reunions of our Extended ‘Sinha’ family. Our ancestors started with roots in Lucknow back in early 20^th Century – we have now spread to many continents and on last count ‘Sinhas’ have forty members but maintain close family bonds and ties. Last year we had a grand reunion in Kolkata celebrating the Golden Wedding Anniverary of Shibani and Debashish. It was a gala event spread over 4 days. It was ‘Dining with the Sinhas’ sans huge superstars and their opulence. When big families celebrate together, it’s their bonding that matters !

(Watch on U-Tube)

‘Dharam ji’ at his Cinematic Best

When Dharmendra, the iconic & evergreen star, passed away on 8^th, Dec., entire media was overwhelmed with glowing tributes for the superb actor, high praise of his immense body of work, life sketches of his legendary film career and the great human being he was. Mention of scenes from films like ‘Sholay’ and ‘Chupke Chupke’ got pride of place.

Yet, as an ardent fan and old film buff, despite his prolific portrayals in different roles spanning six decades, I have always felt that unarguably his best came in the sublime film ‘Satyakam’ a 1969 Indian drama film directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee, based on a Bengali novel of the same name by Narayan Sanyal and the name inspired by ancient saint Satyakama Jabala. The protagonist is a bold, upright young Engineering graduate called Satyapriya who works in the terrains of Bhawanigarh in British-ruled India, with unwavering honesty & principles. The role played superbly by Dharam ji was considered by critics as among the finest in Indian cinema. The movie won National Film Award For Best Feature Film but sadly didn’t fetch Dharam ji the coveted Best Actor Award !

Influenced by the ideals he learnt from his grandfather Satyasharan Acharya, Satyapriya is a man of probity and truth and as a budding Engineer he has dreams of building a new India, but almost every character he encounters in his work-life experiences, share little of his ideals. His closest friend advises him to leave rigidities & follow the golden ‘middle path’ but Satyapriya argues that ‘Compromise is another name for surrender to wrong practices’ which he cannot. Ideological conflicts force Satyapriya from one job to another- unable to allow dishonest deals by officials & those part of a corrupt system.      

His tumultuous love & marriage ends in retribution too. Satyapriya hesitates in rescuing Ranjana, who loves him, and lets her become prey of the morally corrupt prince and to redress the mounting guilt, he later marries her, but their lives are never the same again while she bears a child. Satyapriya is constantly reminded of his failure, unable to adjust to the opportunism and greed that preys on the system, devoid of a strong moral fibre. His struggle continues to a poignant end that leads us into deep ethical introspection.

‘Satyakam’ with its idealism of truth and honesty appears surreal in today’s times but it had set a high benchmark for moral values in society that seemed to endorse beautiful message of the Mahatma ‘Be the Change You Want To Be’. In shorter parlance it would mean ‘Let’s Walk the Talk’, show the way for ‘Your Actions Speak Louder than Words’ !

In one scene, to his friend who advocates that Truth must not be so harsh and should be ‘Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram’ – Satyapriya says ‘If  You have the Courage to Speak the Truth, then have the Courage to Hear the Truth also’ ! But are ready for such idealism ? Surely this is the kind of narrative that we must bring home to our younger generation.

If one were to borrow from William Blake’s famous quote, one might say ‘Flights may or may not take off but TV debates and the Cricket Series must go on..’ We avid followers of the game remain glued to our seats in packed stadia or in front of TV sets as India & Proteas are locked in riveting cricket contests. And for bigger aficionados, there’s also the ‘Ashes’ battle on between Aussies and the English..

For some, India’s fortunes in Cricket World attained greater significance than the scary AQIs, huge ‘Indigo’ turbulence in aviation sector and the dipping Re that’s now in the ‘nervous 90s’. The jargon dished out by experts on the Panel during on-going matches such as “Drop-in pitches”, “The Doosra“, “Upper Cut“, “Bat-speed“, “Reverse Sweep“, “Dil-scoop” create an aura of mystery & thrill to every match played.

Not surprisingly a large section of intelligent people cannot quite comprehend the basics of the game leave alone the nuances like “to bat first or not to bat is the question” looking to the flatness, turn, bounce off  the pitch and depending on the dew factor late evening. One Lady Stand-Up Comedian suggested in her show, a smart Woman can get anything out of her Man if she switches off  the ODI match telecast in the tense 50^th Over !

Here are old gems from the not so cricketingly educated over the ages : Truly hilarious !

1.  In school, the teacher asked John to spell “ Bowling “. Back came the answer “ B-o-e-l-i-n “.  “ That “ said the teacher “ is the worst spell of bowling I’ve ever seen “ !

2.  Jones had taken his wife to cricket match. She sat through the first innings although very bored. In the second innings, a batsman tonked the ball out of the ground with a huge swipe. The wife got up excitedly “ Thank God they got rid of it, we can go home ! “

3. Wife to George “Do you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match. You were BOLD. “ No I wasn’t “ , George muttered “I was caught ! “

4. Jim and his wife were awakened by the baby crying . Jim dragged himself out of  bed to the baby’s cot and gently patted the baby with a cricket bat . “No bawl “.

5. The teacher asked the class to write an essay on cricket . With only few minutes left, one boy has written nothing. Suddenly looking at the clock he wrote a few words. “ No play today . Rain ! “

6. The bowler’s mother watched proudly from the stand. Next to her a spectator turned to his friend “He is good bowler, but his length varies“. “Nonsense“ said mother “He’s been five seven always!”

7. A mother asked her neighbour “Is it a sin if  he is always playing cricket ? “ Offended neighbour’s reply “ It is not a sin . But it is crime, the way he plays cross batted ! “

8. An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on . By mistake he was connected to the Lord’s cricket ground. “ How’s it going “ he asked. “ Fine “ was the reply “We got 3 out and hope to get the rest out by lunch. The last one was a duck !”

‘On Reaching Ten’

Time has come, Grandpa said, To Think of many more Things,

Than Maths, Science,Geography, And Kingdoms, Queens & Kings

Find innate talent to Express, Don’t skip a Chance to Write,

Everything needn’t be Googled, Feel & Enjoy, Gain Real Insight,  

For You it’s the Best of Times, It is the Age of Learning Fast,

Man & Nature as Best Friends, Will Make Us Grow and Last,   

Not long, just few decades ago, Without the Genius Computer, 

Teachers used ‘Chalk and Talk’, Your Grandpa became Engineer,

 Today at ‘10’ Start Building Upon,  Ideas and Dreams of New Venture    

 The World is your Oyster, It’s Said, Make Every Moment an Adventure.

Happy Birthday Nandita !

Love and Blessings from Mama Dadu & Maima

7^th, December, 25.

One risks being scoffed at in asking an educated audience (barring today’s Gen Zee) if  they’d read the ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’. Most of our contemporaries and the Gen Next too would have savoured this novel not once but several times in formative years. Possibly the most loved & widely read crime fiction set in England’s Dartmoor, Devon, it’s a gripping tale of the deadly curse on the Baskerville family told through the legend of a diabolical hound and the super sleuth Sherlock Holmes who unravels the sinister plot and mystery surrounding it. The story is too well known to be repeated here.

When I had first read it what struck me was the sense of fear, foreboding and eeriness that master writer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creates as he weaves a story of honour and courage of the protagonist & cunning plot to kill and seek revenge that plays out in vast moors leading to a death-trap and and lurking in the dark, a vile blood-curdling creature that kills. It was first published in 1902 but was the third of the four ‘Sherlock Holmes’ mystery novels that Doyle wrote. This was reportedly the first appearance of Holmes since his apparent death in “The Final Problem” and the success of ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’ led to the character’s eventual revival.  

What is fascinating apart from the timelessness of this crime fiction, that it’s recorded that there have been over 20 film and television adaptations of  the great book, making it one of the most filmed Sherlock Holmes stories, with notable versions including the classic 1939 film with Basil Rathbone, the iconic 1959 version with Peter Cushing, and several BBC TV serials, with specific versions appearing in the 1920s, 30s, 70s, 80s, and 2000s. However, my favorite actor playing ‘Sherlock’ has always been Jeremy Brett !

Yesterday, we happened to discover an oldish version of the film on ‘Fawesome’ Movies (surfing Amazon Prime) and Tandra and I sat down with lots of popcorn & soda, like old times when we watched old classics. As it happens, she has been an acclaimed teacher of English Literature and had taught ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’ to school students years ago. For her, this was revisiting old ‘teaching’ days & had it’s share of nostalgia !

Her memory, sharp as ever could recall all the sequences and dialogues while passage of time had made things bit hazy for me and I tried to concentrate on the intricate plot and characters. But I needn’t have worried – she’d time to time let the ‘cat out of the story’s bag’ so to say..‘This guy is pretending that she’s his sister but actually she’s his wife’. At the opportune moment with the suspense building up, she revealed to me : ‘the gypsy is actually Sherlock in disguise’& so on. The film was quite enjoyable, I liked Sir Henry !

What’s good about watching a movie ? It’s watching & enjoying an old classic together !