In one of the ‘Hoi-Choi’ Web-series, originally made in Bengali but dubbed in Hindi for larger group of audiences, the antagonist was the defense lawyer in a murder case and the plot was gripping. What, however, remained implanted in my mind was a name that is connected to my ancestors. The series shows everyone calling the well-known attorney as ‘Sinha’ to which he would invariably get up and correct them ‘It’s Singho, not Sinha’ !

This conversation would ring a bell to my Siblings & Relatives (all in their autumn years now and widely scattered, but the ‘Sinha’ family bonding remains strong ). After all, our Great-Grand Father was ‘Kali Prasanna Singho’ (son of ‘Bhola Nath Singhee’) who first settled in our home-place Lucknow in the early 20^th Century. Through education and  diligence he could become a ‘Dist. Judge’ and earned fame for his cultural and social affiliations & with Bengalis like AP Sen, richly contributed to Lucknow’s literary growth.

For the uninitiated, the Bengali surname ‘Singho’ is a variant of ‘Singh,’ which means “lion” in Sanskrit and historically served as a title for warriors, royalty, and people symbolizing bravery and strength. It was adopted by various communities in Bengal, including the Kayasthas, and was sometimes associated with a noble or warrior lineage. The surname has olden roots in the broader Indian tradition of using “Singh” as a title. We came to learn from our Grandfather, NN Sinha, that his own & his elder brother’s surnames became ‘Sinha’ in course of time maybe to sound more upbeat and that has continued for the three generations that have followed them.

As ‘Provashis’ speaking Bengali at home, we grew up in Lucknow’s unique culture and charming ethnicity of the 1960s-70s. Our education gave us the best of both worlds imbibing clear diction in both English and Hindi laced with Urdu, typical of the city. We were proud of our surname that had a cosmopolitan touch much like Lucknow. Over time as our entire social fabric has evolved with implications on modern life-styles, opportunities & ideologies in different communities, we find there’s lot of  chopping and changing of names & dropping surnames, often to avoid being cast into typical moulds.

In the old-world thinking, we felt our parents had given us our identity with a lot of hope and expectations pinned to the ‘name’ and we’d all try our best to live up to them. In an interview years ago, the legendary Big B shared that he’d been told to drop his surname as it would made sound like a ‘Baccha’ (kid) in a hard-nosed film industry. His culture and upbringing made him insist on retaining his original name. ‘The Rest is History’ !    

Back in the 60s-70s, it was September-October that used to be the happy autumn time till global warming hit us and it lost its sheen despite all major festivals stacking up, one after the other, calls for forward planning specially if travel is involved or relatives visit !  Yet, there’s no respite from the soaring temperatures even to the most intrepid revelers.

The mantle of the coolest and most happening month has then fallen on December..Not just for its festive ‘Yuletide’ spirit but for being the merry season for ‘shaadis’ galore and chance to adorn three-piece suits, galabands and sherwanis on numerous celebratory functions, when ‘sons & daughters’ of relatives/friends decide to get hitched. The grand show must go on, never mind the ‘century making’ fuel, rising air-fares & tomato prices ! 

So what’s new with this year’s December. Like every year there’s the usual talk of smoke, fog, smog and polluted air specially around the Capital City and we’re advised to pause and think before breathing. Perilously high ‘AQI’ levels are garnering greater attention than given to ‘SIR’ (With or Without love !). Air Quality Index (AQI)  has been heatedly discussed every year for deterioration in Delhi’s highest echelons NCR & neighbouring cities, leading to ‘winters of discontent’ ! The problem has hugely exacerbated this year.

All those involved in the business of controlling the ‘AQI” levels, are well aware that it’s  affected by the deadly mix of pollutants that come from sources like vehicle emissions, industrial processes, power plants, farms’ stubble burning and managing city’s garbage as also natural events such as wildfires and dust storms. Massive housing & construction projects that are witnessed in all big cities never stop. Weather conditions, temperature, sunlight, and wind also influence their levels. 

Experts are debating round the clock but the ‘AQI’ remains a serious concern not only in the Capital & its vicinity but for all major cities. But what can we do ? Instead of showing anxiety we citizens can help reduce AQI by making conscious choices in daily activities related to using public transport, energy consumption, waste management, community engagement. Collective individual actions can significantly contribute to cleaner air. 

Finally, the weather experts are also predicting a harsher winter while the stock markets remain unpredictable due to geo-political uncertainties. But then December has had its contradictions being the birth-month of super-greats like Shakespeare and Einstein and down to Salman Khan ! A humble Sagittarian, I share my birth date with the icons like Brad Pitt and Steven Spielberg and my birth-month with living legends Thalaivar’ Rajnikant ! That said, in uncertain times let’s hope ‘Happier’ winter awaits for all of us ! 

Watch on Netflix

A powerful film can revive our memories of impactful experiences that might have taken place decades ago. At the age of ten I had seen a film called ‘Dosti’ (1964) with my Dad and little sister but by the end of it, we felt deeply moved with the story of tormenting trials and tribulations of two physically handicapped but inseparable young friends fighting against the common foe – ‘abysmal poverty’ ! I recall this for its strong imprint though many ‘friendship’ tales have followed over the years in different languages.

Director Neeraj Ghayawan (his ‘Masaan’ in 2015 shook us up with it dark intensity) tells the gritty story of two childhood friends from a small North Indian village who aspire for and diligently chase a police job which they feel will give them the dignity they’ve long been denied for impoverished backgrounds and social discrimination on basis of caste & religion. Their continuous struggle to earn a living and support their families run into systemic roadblocks and force them to forget their distant ‘cop’ dreams and find some work to keep afloat, faced with huge family burden. It’s a telling story of today’s youth !  

The film’s Credits reveal, ‘Homebound’ is based on a real story and is stark and heart-rending in its real-life depiction of the plight of our young-job seekers. The second half of the film is set against the backdrop of the horrors of the COVID-19 pandemic when millions of people – migrant labourers, factory and mill workers were all forced to make a perilous journey back to their homes, so many on foot, faced with strict lockdowns and helpless state of the looming joblessness and poverty.

Two brilliant young actors showing both fire and hopelessness in turn in their eyes, give truly memorable performances -Vishal Jethwa as young Chandan (a Dalit) and Ishan Khattar as Shoaib (a Muslim) win our hearts. Janhvi Kapoor in a cameo is effective too.  History repeated itself for us- two kids had shed tears for the tumultuous journey of friends in ‘Dosti’ back in 1965. Two senior citizens, my Wife and I, wept for some time after watching ‘Homebound’. Surely, Gen-Next deserves a better deal than what we see ! 

While growing up we’d been made conscious of  it all the time – it’s ‘time’ to get up, leave for school, it’s ‘study-time’, ‘meal-time’, play-time and ‘time’ to rest and so on and of course there’s no ‘time’ to waste for despite being invisible ‘time’ has much value. We learnt the phrase ‘Time and tide waits for no one’ and the veritable man-made ‘Clocks’ symbolize the passage of time and the cycles of life, and have deep cultural and symbolic significance across history, art and religion.

We’ve also read that ‘Clocks’ have been used for centuries to measure time, even before devices like sundials and water clocks were invented. The modern generation has the latest in tech-gadgets but probably missed what we had in the 1960-70s – from ‘Cuckoo’ clocks that announced the hour with a cuckoo bird call to majestically tall, freestanding pendulum ‘Grand-father’ clocks with an elaborate design to the smaller ‘Mantel’ clocks that sat on a mantelpiece, shelf or table. There were others like smaller ‘time-pieces’ too.

It’s the hangover of our family heritage & parental legacy, that we have a clock in every room apart from the customary wrist-watches and cell-phones that every one possesses. But interestingly all three clocks show different times that are about ten minutes apart. After due thought, we’ve decided not to align all of them to the minute and let them be. Symbolically, if we individuals can be so different from each other despite having similar backgrounds, the clocks having their distinct origins must be allowed their space & time.

The quaint ‘Cuckoo’ clock was bought by us from a shop in Switzerland in 2013 and in keeping with its advanced origins it runs faster than all the others. The second one was a gift from a friend- it works fairly accurately, uncannily like the givers. The third one was actually a complimentary item along with a financial product. That one is the slowest. Finally we have a dainty ‘mantel’ clock that has slots for putting pictures on three sides and is the one we most love. It carries some of our grand-daughter’s earliest photos !

One realizes that today, modern interior designers don’t encourage putting up clocks that might give a period look to bold, exotic layouts. Some people, however, preserve the old clocks and antiques of their parental homes as family heirlooms. We’d fall in that category. We could restore a more than a century old ‘grandfather’ clock with the help of our ‘Uncle’ who was a genius with his hands. It stands tall in my younger Sister, Kalyani Bose’s home in Indiana, USA under her kind care ! 

One of the great things about getting old is trying to become the person you should have been and having beautiful memories that must be kept alive. Most of all we remember fondly, people, places, incidents and things that leave a mark but today, being special, I recall wonderful childhood memories related to a SONG !

My earliest reminiscing starts in the 1960s with my Dad’s obsession for songs. As a boy, I remember the piece of paper he had, with lines ( lyrics) written in ‘Roman’ English. On select evenings he’d approach ‘Niluda’, a cousin who stayed in our house, to sing that particular number. Both went into a kind of trance singing that timeless melody and remarkably we got so used to this ritual that the tune and lines got etched in our hearts !

As we grew up and started enjoying film music of the Golden 1960’s (thanks to ‘Vividh Bharti’), Dad shared with us the ‘legend’ behind this quintessentially beautiful rendition from auteur director Bimal Roy’s path-breaking classic film ‘Sujata’ (1959). The film had actress ‘Nutan’ superbly playing a young girl, born to a lower caste but living in a family that gave her affection but the ‘class divide’ is too deeply entrenched for her to have a status and social acceptance. Till she meets the hero who falls in love with her, oblivious to her ‘caste’ antecedents.

Dad would regale us with the backroom story.. iconic Dada SD Burman composed and sang memorable songs for this film, but no suitable situation could be conceived for a romantic song by the hero. Finally SD came up with a brilliant idea – the hero serenades the lady on the phone as she silently listens & weeps to it – ‘Jalte Hain Jiske Liye, Teri Ankhon Ke Diye, Dhood Laya Hoon Wohi, Geet Main Tere Liye..’ Talat Mahmood’s sublime, soft voice lends great depth and poignancy to it. Later, I read in the book on  Dada Burman- in his early days he’d often entertain his friends by singing on the phone.  

On our Dad’s 104^th Birthday today, I quietly recede into my study to sing in his memory this ageless composition, remembering and marveling at the great taste he had in songs, music and literature, which he passed on as his legacy to our generations to follow.

It’s fascinating to hear the off-the-cuff views on various issues from men on ground zero. They are ones we interact on a daily basis including our Society watchmen, fruit-walas , bhaji-sabji vendors, delivery boys, paper-stall owners, roadside tailors & cobblers, car & auto repair guys and the most voluble auto-walas, to name the ones I meet. In our active banker days now a few decades past, they formed a huge ‘Self-employed & Professionals’ sector but continue to do so, more now ! Even if ‘Unorganised’ there are always there.   

Coming to the main story, since my slippers needed urgent attention, I paid a visit to the neighbourhood ‘mochi’, who has a tiny ‘Gumti’ where he displays his wares and keeps his stuff. It surprised me to find a bright, youngish man polishing shoes with some pride and like a nosey old gent, I got to asking questions – he replied he was 12^th pass and had worked on few jobs but had decided be his own master. Wondering how he managed his family earning just about five hundred daily, he seemed quite content with his life ! He seemed to have no worries about high prices, educating his children & better prospects.

What surprised me was his general awareness and interest in current political concerns, like migrants from neighboring countries staying or coming into the country which he felt were creating problems for us. He asked me about my home-state and expressed his satisfaction at how the welfare policies were being implemented by ruling dispensation. Along with footwear repair, I was getting educated on what ‘aam janta’ perceives With all my newspaper-reading & media-binging, I find myself confused on so many issues.

It’s observed that our urbanized & city bred youth (aren’t we still reaping the benefits of demographic dividend ?) in the employable age group are tech-savvy and aspirational in their outlook. There’s also a fair section of educated youth in metros & big towns that endeavors to improve it’s lot to keep up with high cost of maintaining a normal life style. In the 70s, we learnt principles of ‘Simple Living and High Thinking’ that was imbibed – it was really ‘simple’ then. It may now be like ‘Thinking of Ways & Means for Surviving’.  My ‘Shoemaker’ friend’s contentment with whatever you get in life, is another lesson.    

“We didn’t realize that we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun “. Those are the sort of words you associate with our dearest friend, Vipin Gupta – gentle, humane, an untiring, selfless leader of men and ever so solid, as the Rock of Gibraltar ! And most amazingly, a man with no detractors in an unforgiving world.. for no other reason but because he’s a friend who everyone loves to love.

However much you attempt, one would always fall short in etching the quintessence of his indefatigable persona. I have known him since our alma-mater Colvin College, Lucknow days of 1964 (more than six decades now) and an unbroken stand of 11 years as class-buddies right till the University days. Vipin got married at the tender age when we, his classmates, were all struggling to complete ourpost graduation in Economics from the Lucknow University. I could claim to know more about him than even the dearest love of his life and better-half, our wonderful Vidhu Bhabi !

The remarkable thing about the Vipin & Vidhu team is their consistency for goodness. In all the years, there have been no fallouts and fallbacks in their convictions : as the excellent parents with outstanding and most well-brought up children, as a committed business-family working for the community and contributing to society, as elders who keep the joint-family together and above all, a pair that succeeds in reuniting friends to rekindle lasting relationships ! One thing that has always intrigued us and which Vipin never shared- how does he avoid arguments (there can never be fights ! ) with Vidhu Bhabi ? In all our association with both of them, we have never witnessed even a minor squabble ! With them around, things always look brighter and livelier…

Unlike the many illustrious firsts we’ve known over the years, you’re the first duo from our contemporaries who celebrate today a glorious milestone – your ‘Golden Marriage Anniversary’. Akin to the heartwarming tales of romance and idyllic partnerships, your love is a symphony harmonizing perfectly for 50 years ! But as cricket lovers we are not satisfied with a half-century alone, we all wish that you complete a great century !

Many Congratulations, Wishes, Prayers for Continued Health, Joy & Joie de Vivre !

Love from Somnath and Tandra

12^th,October, 2025

It was our spiritual and cultural upbringing that made us think in pairs from the start. It all began with the persons we first ever knew on the planet : Papa-Mummy (Baba-Ma for some) and family elders, Dadu-Thamma, Kaka-Kaki, Dada-Didi and so on, to the devoted Naukar-Chakar and Gadi-Ghoda in the house and it all had a musical ring to it. This spilled over to school arena with Padai-Likhai, Yaar-Dost, Khel-Kood and all our Gods in the daily prayers that we chanted in the morning assembly !When we saw elder siblings get married (in arranged alliances without knowing the partner) seniors advised- everyone was destined to be paired with someone. Sure, that was in the ‘1970s!

As we grew up with our studies, books, literature lessons and teachers we realised that apart from the different kinds of pairs that figured in our simple lives there were very “Famous pairs” that had reference to so many types& varieties of well-known duos, including fictional characters like Tom& Jerry and Veeru & Jai (from cult film Sholay), legendary lovers Romeo-Juliet and Heer-Ranjha, historical figures such as Cleopatra and Mark Antony and contemporary celebrity couples of likes of Big B& Jaya Bachan. The term also applied to notable partnerships in politics (there are quite a few across the board), and sports such as Cricket God Sachin & Dada Ganguly as openers for India andtennis players Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi, till they separated. From the Bollywood music industry, came a galaxy of composer duos, song writers, film makers.

The penchant for ‘pairs’ are not confined only to characters but to inanimate objects. All of us have at some point of time, taken a fancy to vintage prized possessions starting from favourite pens& books, study tables & chairs, meccano sets&scrabble boards, old diaries&marriage albums, school ties &children’s’ uniforms, special gifts & cards received on milestone birthdays & stacks of jeans, jackets, saris – the list can be endless and maddening since sentiments and emotions come in the way of the spring cleaning of closets and cupboards and getting the best deals out of the local ‘kabariwallas’ !

That brings me to the pair I feel most sentimental about today: Me & my Bajaj Scooter. After having a bicycle for my entire academic life, as did all my friends, Dad bought me a new Bajaj Super scooter in 1977, when I landed a job with a Bank. However, call it a propitious start, my Dad in an effort to show acquired driving skills, crashed the new scooter & caused a lucky mark in front. I then went on to use it as a lifeline for the next fifteen years in tune with the then famous tagline ‘Hamara Bajaj’. It taught me many life experiences including about rash driving, an accident and hand fracture but also a lot of adventurous times in the initial first years of marriage, family of wife and two boys lent romance of scooting around! Later, a ‘Maruti’ came in & my ‘Bajaj’ went out. 

Even the best minds have to contend with it – the malady of not being able to precisely recall faces, names and dates that hits all those once priding themselves on having had a proverbial ‘elephant’s memory’. The ‘forgetful’ stage seems to kick in with a strange gender bias. Men once they’re retired, tend to forget (or appear to) simplest errands & important family functions/dates while ladies hardly forget any event (past or present) despite their advanced years, except where they kept their mobiles, glasses, medicines& bills. It’s God’s way of making all senior spouses help each other in finding their stuff & keeping themselves socially relevant !FB too is doing a yeoman service by reminding us to wish friends on their birthdays !

Recently, at a reunion meet we got talking about how class-fellows were getting along. A friend described someone who’s first name he tried but couldn’t recall & asked me if I remembered. Equally vague I replied ‘I can’t recall the face, but the surname seems familiar’. We tried to jog our memories on other blokes in school, not active on social media, but couldn’t make much headway ! Back in our younger days, we used to giggle when elderly relatives would ask “Ye ta kothay aache?’, translated from Bengali meant ‘Where’s he/that thing ?’ leaving us to figure out what they wanted. With age, it’s our turn to turn a bit foggy and to struggle with the recesses of the brain to retrieve a name, year or place when providing information to others.

The well-known fact is that we have in-built like a computer, a long-term memory which miraculously retains the details of significant past events and also a short-term one for mundane matters that get deleted fast. It could be that our tired minds can’t handle so much data inputs. To cite my example, relatives/friends tell me that I can relate quaint incidents of our childhood that they’ve forgotten. Also, I don’t need to refer to lyrics of hundreds of old songs while singing them-yet many things happened in last two decades that have slowly faded away to me.

Experts claim that a weakened memory is just a sign of aging and not treatable, though they suggest ways to keep one mentally & intellectually active. Writers, artists, actors, trainers, coaches & of course politicians improve with age like ‘fine wine’ ! However, ordinary people too devise ways to manage ‘memory lapses’. My process for years has been to make ‘to-do lists’ on daily basis and store in files, my stories, pins & passwords. ‘Association’ of thoughts helps us recall like someone’s birthday comes a week before Christmas.  Spouses are best versions of ‘Google’, who keep us updated on everything. That reminds today is very important date. It’s her birthday & how can I forget that !

Happy Birthday Tandra – Time slipped by but my love for you is always on schedule !

I remember our last meeting as if it were yesterday – just a couple of months ago we had spent a delightfulevening, picking up from where we’d left off due to a longish break, nursing drinks, listening to old melodies that Rahulji so enjoyed over tit-bits. Like old times we had also planned our next meet : a ‘Keema-Pao’ breakfast at a quaint SOBO joint on a weekend. In his unfailing gesture of bon-homie he had sent us warm Durga Puja wishes early this October. So tough coming to terms that fate can cruelly interveneto snatch him away from us, leaving his family & friends utterly devastated.

When I first met Rahulji in 2016, our trueidentities were unknown -we were the other halves of two talented ladies, Neerja and Tandra. Our spouses beingoldschool mates from Allahabad& reunited in camaraderie in a feisty friend’s group, gave us retirees a chance to meet the families. Rahul ji & I soon discovered we’d many common interests, passion for vintage Hindi films&songs, drinks, great food &old world values. Beneath his benign smile& gentle exterior was steely resolve, that stood ground on matters of principle. Having been a successful entrepreneur in the competitive eatery business in Mumbai, he was a realconnoisseur of cuisines and expert on the city’s fine-dine joints.

We’ve always found admirable, the nurturing of filial bonds and relationships in the close knit family headed by Rahuljiand Neerja, where every member, from children to grandchildrenare precious gems, generous, soft-spoken and cultured human beings. As frequent visitors to ‘Rastogi’ household, we’vereceived their warmth & hospitality.The mind refuses to register that Rahulji won’t call & say ‘Sanjuji, kab mil rahehai ?’

Our heartfelt condolences to Neerja ji and all the dear family members. May God grant you allthe strength to bear this great, irreparable loss. People like Rahul ji leave behind legacies of goodness and goodwillthat will live on. That’s why it’s been said :

‘Those we love don’t go away,

They walk beside us every day.

Unseen, unheard but always near,

Still loved, still missed &held so dear’.

Prayers from Somnath (Sanju) with Tandra